Thursday, July 3, 2008

The Douchebag Index

This guy Mark Ecko bought Barry Bonds' record-breaking 756th home run ball at auction for $752,467. Fine, however you want to spend your money.

So then this douchelord takes the ball and fucking defaces it by having an asterisk cut into its surface as some kind of statement about the allegations that Bonds used steroids during parts of his career. Look at this:

Stupid, huh? It's like some hockey team taking the Stanley Cup and engraving "HOSERS" over the Maple Leafs on the trophy. Or something like that, maybe. I don't know anything about hockey, so I'm just guessing.

Anyway, then Mr. Publicity Whore gets into this big thing with the Baseball Hall of Fame because he wants to "loan" them the ball he just defaced and they don't take "loans." You either donate something or you don't.

In the end, Jackass folded and donated it.

So this idiot who became a millionaire making clothes beloved by mallrats and suburban faux-gangstas everywhere fucked up a one-of-a-kind piece of baseball history just to feed his obviously desperate need for attention. Way to go, jackass. Happy now?

But the Douchebag Index is by no means limited to classless media whore "clothing" designers. In this corner, we have "Dumpster Muffin," one of the Berkeley tree-sitters who've been camping out in a couple of trees on the UC Berkeley campus to protect them from being cut down or something. Humorously, this ancient old-growth forest they're trying to protect was planted in 1923.

Anyway, Dumpster Muffin came down out of her tree and was promptly taken away for medical attention and a good jailin'.

This story has been pretty extensively covered and there's not much more to add except to say that these people are douchebags.

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