Friday, October 11, 2013

These mugshots from 1870's England are fantastic

It's 4 pm on Friday!  Nobody's reading this. I guess you're reading it in the future. Anyway.

Whilst perusing the Internet, I recently came across this dynamite gallery of mugshots of criminals in Newcastle, England between 1871 and 1873.  It's like the of 19th century England!  FASCINATING.

Here's John Grieveson.  He got busted for stealing pigeons!  That implies people wanted pigeons, for some reason. I guess to eat, ew.  Anyway, put a hoodie on John and you could plop him down in Dolores Park this afternoon and nobody would notice.  Except they would go "HEY MAN WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU EATING PIGEONS!"

William Brankston did a month bit for stealing four rabbits.  Lots of animal thieves in Newcastle.  Anyway, he looks like a kindly hobbit.  Also, love the coat.

Hey, if you're a girl, have you ever said to yourself "I HAVE GOT TO HAVE THOSE BOOTS!"  I bet you have.  That's what Alice Mulholland said, too.  Except she didn't pay for them and did three months in gaol.  (NOTE: Many of Newcastle's Most Wanted do the hands-clasped pose for their mugshot.  I guess that was the Style of the Day.)

OK, you guess:

What do you think Edward Shevlin stole? BOOZE, RIGHT?  That's what I thought too!  Nope, it was a coat.  Hopefully not the one he's wearing here, because that shit is BUSTED.  He is from Ireland, though, so that explains why he looks shitfaced.

James Richley stole trivets.  Trivets!  Which, CBS helpfully tells us, "were used as supports for kettles."  James Richley is not the kind of man who WOULD SET A KETTLE DOWN UPON A TABLE WITHOUT A TRIVET.  GOOD DAY TO YOU, SIR.

Last but absolutely not least, the star of our show:

Robert Hardy, ladies and gentlemen.  I think he's a bartender at Pop's, no shit.  The next time you're in Pop's, casually ask the bartender who looks like this guy about time travel and see if he spooks.  Anyway, Robert Hardy served four months in Newcastle Gaol for "stealing ale in 1873 with two accomplices." RIGHT FUCKING ON.  You go steal your pigeons and rabbits, other Mugshots of 1870s Newcastle.  I'll just be over here having some ales with Robert Hardy.

ALES TIME!!!!!!!!

Have a good weekend.


Tamagosan said...

This gave me the LOL I so sorely needed today! A few actually.

Pigeon guano used to be super valuable, but I can't imagine John Grieveson would steal enough birds to fertilize enough plants to get a real crop going...

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