Monday, October 7, 2013

Let's look at 38 Dolores!

38 Dolores is that new building on the corner of Market and, duh, Dolores, sort of diagonally across from the Market Street Safeway.  Here's a not very good picture of the exterior I stole:

It's the thing on the far left.  I was just at the Safeway yesterday; I totally could have taken a better picture but I didn't.  Sorry.

(Also, there was more crazy than usual at the Safeway on Market yesterday morning.  One older guy who looked otherwise completely normal, like a college professor or a retired attorney, was being led out while telling the Safeway employees "Your district manager is going to hear from me, this is not going to be allowed to continue," and I bet they were SOOOOOO SCARED.  Another guy who definitely looked homeless and had a shopping cart full of Gatorade and nothing else was moaning loudly about "my medicaaaaaaaaaaaation" and OMG yes, please get him his medication.  ANYWAY.)

So as it happens 38 Dolores is rental apartments and not condos!  Let's see what they're renting for.

It appears that 38 Dolores is actually 3 buildings, one on Market (the "Mint Collection," presumably because it faces the killer karaoke bar The Mint (where I haven't been in YEARS but where, I assume, they are still reeling from my experimental interpretation of "Folsom Prison Blues" that might have set the Cash catalog back 30 years), one mostly facing Dolores (the "Palms Collection," because of palm tress) and one mostly facing 14th (the "Terrace Collection," for some reason, and, I shit you not, the website says "Nestled under 38 Dolores’s eco roof and the watchful eye of the butterfly habitat," WAIT WHAT).  Let's pick a place in the Mint Collection so we can watch drunk people stumble out of the Mint from our balcony or living room or whatever.

Floor Plan 3 is a 1 BD/1 BA, 714 square feet.

The price? SEVEN MILLION DOLLARS.  No, not really.  It's $3,850.  That's a lot of money!  What else could we get in the general area for $3,850?  Check this out!  A "Classic Victorian Flat" at Pearl and Market, just down the street, for $3700. And it's a 2-BR!  No butterfly habitat listed, but I'm sure you could start your own.  So it looks like you're paying a premium to live at the 38 Dolores.  I'm sure it's very nice.

One other thing.  On the slick 38 Dolores website, it says "See Your New Home," like so:

And when you click on it, it goes to the Google Street View of that corner!  Perfect, right?  Sure!  Here's the Street View for that corner:

Yay!  Who wants to live in an abandoned car dealership with me?  I call the Sales Manager's Office!  You guys can hang blankets in the showroom to make little rooms.  We'll create a true Urban Utopia.  Butterfly Habitat and all.


GG said...

That's fucking insane. Even at our outrageous current market rates, $3,850 for that location should get you a 3 bedroom, maybe even 2 baths (or at least 2bd/2ba). With an on site masseur who will service you 24/7 and maybe a butler.

TK said...

Oh, that's nothing. There's also a 3-BD 2-BA for $8,100. It's over 1600 square feet, but still. EIGHT THOUSAND DOLLARS. That's way less than the mortgage on a $1,000,000 house. Explain that one to me.

Stoney said...

Haha, yes "The Mint Collection" is named after the karaoke bar, certainly not the foreboding U.S. MINT building on the other side of Market St.

OMN said...
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Tamagosan said...

I upped my screen resolution and rubbed my eyes, and wow, the rents are still too damn high.

Pretty sure the Mint reference comes from my belting of Take Me Out To The Ball Game during the 2010 playoffs. Not a sports crowd!

I guess I like butterflies more than Fords, but there is no excuse for those rental prices. Can you do a follow-up post with occupancy rates in 6 months? It would be journalism!

Anonymous said...

Tamagosan, I am sure it will be fully occupied 6 months after it opens. I already know of three different friends moving into the building. Unfortunately, $3,000 for a one bedroom in the city is the new normal.

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