Wednesday, October 13, 2010

I am troubled by Fox Sports. Here's how.

As you may have heard, the San Francisco Giants have earned the right to advance in the post-season tournament. This is a positive for the team and the city. But wait, even amidst this wonderful development, there is, as there must be, a Dark Note.

[SIDE NOTE: If you're not interested in baseball, feel free to stop reading now. I'm afraid that there will be a lot of baseball-related content herein until the Giants either (a) win the World Series or (b) are eliminated. This could be a while yet. Sorry. One positive note: This post is going to be very snarky, so if you like that, maybe stick around.]

The problem is that the National League Championship Series is on the Fox Network, and while I don't expect stories about how the Giants are forcing socialism on America!!! or Lower taxes for millionaire ballplayers will help you out, Mr. Unemployed Pipefitter!!!, Fox Sports' baseball coverage has two enormous problems. I'll list them below.

1. Joe Buck
2. Tim McCarver

This is the face of annoyance in America today.

The problem with this Duo From Hell is that, together, they are the worst Baseball Announcing Team in recorded history. Joe Buck doesn't really care about baseball and calls the games with all the passion of a man picking up dry cleaning. Meanwhile, Tim McCarver is borderline functionally retarded and points out things like "The pitcher, he's the one that throws the ball," or "He has gotten a hit. Now he can take first base." (For more real-life Tim McC gems, look here.)

Tim McCarver on the Chilean miners: "They were trapped in a mine, but now they are at the surface. This is different from being trapped in a mine. In a mine, you are underground, but at the surface, you are above ground. They are above ground now."

I'm going to try and work out some way of syncing up KNBR's radio coverage with the TV box, but if that doesn't work, I guess I'm fucked. Take it away, Tim! "Now, TK, he's going to keep drinking just to drown out our voices. That's what the drinking's good for. Drinking."


troymccluresf said...

Tamagosan said...

This is so sad. We need Mike! We need Duane! We need Jon! We don't need these idiots...
I was trying to figure out a sportsbar to hang out in and watch the Saturday game (Sunday here in Guam, I think morning, so at least it will be the true die-hards with the others at church) but my boyfriend has somehow rigged his computer to be a TV through The Magic Of Technology. Super duper, I thought, I can realize the awesome beer-PJs combo... until I realized that it was on Fox.
Lamecore. I gotta opt for the sportsbar; I'll risk hanging out with Phillies fans if they'll drown out the Fox drivel.

TK said...

Troy -

Thx! I might give that a shot.

Tamagosan -

If you don't start a blog about living in Guam, I'm gonna be pissed.

TK said...

Oh, I just found it, Tamagosan!

EVERYBODY READ Tamagosan's Guam blog!!!

Tamagosan said...

LOL times! :-) I'll let you know as soon as I get it together to put up a blogroll. For now, I go in search of sleeping pills to relieve my jetlag-induced insomnia at 4:45 am...

Tony said...

Thank you for your brilliant post. I, too, was so frustrated with Fox's coverage, that I turned down the volume on my TV and turned up the radio. Unfortunately, the radio was a few seconds ahead of the TV, so Jonny Miller would say something like "and there's a base hit to right field" and 5 seconds later there would be a base hit to right field. It was a little weird, but I'll take Kruk and Kuip and Jonny over Joe and Tim any day!

Tamagosan said...

@Tony: The sync (or lack thereof) was weird between GameCast and KNBR. I think it was game 4 (against the Phillosers). Our PC TV was out so I was streaming KNBR (thanks, Guam IP address!) so I would check the Web just to remember what the count was or who was up next or whatever and I'd notice all the runner had advanced one, or the current batter had been walked or something.

Took me a second to figure out there was a delay, so I just stopped checking online altogether because I'm already in the future here on Guam and that was messing with my head.

The next game I watched at the bar, then our clincher was on our neighbor's couch. It all seems like a distant memory now that we are going to the WORLD SERIES. So I'm just going to sit back, relax and enjoy some really trippy B-Dubs Cheap Seats vids before Game One against the Rangers!