Friday, July 2, 2010

How to make air travel even worse

No, I'm not talking about the maggots on the plane, although that is HORRIFYING and some truly next-level End Times shit. (Also, love ya, New York Daily News, for "Maggots like the ones pictured above tumbled from an overhead bin...." Because, you know, we have to show a picture of maggots to go with your McGriddle but we don't have a picture of the actual USAir maggots. But I digress.)

I'm talking about low-cost European airline RyanAir's proposal to sell standing-only tickets.

Ryanair wants passengers to stand during its flights so the budget airline can squeeze more people onboard.

The Irish air carrier plans to cut costs by making fliers perch on stools with seatbelts around their waists.

Chief executive Michael O'Leary has already held talks with US plane manufacturer Boeing about designing an aircraft with standing room.

I've flown on RyanAir before. It was HELLA janky. First off, it was like 7 a.m. and we were flying from Shannon to London and the guys across the aisle from us were already pounding liter cans of lager and yelling. Then halfway through the flight the flight attendants come down the aisle selling lottery scratchers and stuffed animals and CDs and crap.

On the other hand, I just checked their website and you can fly from London to Venice today for 17 Euros, which is about 20 bucks. But I'm not playing, RyanAir makes Southwest look like the Players Club or something.

(RyanAir also flies to lots of mysterious places, like "Perpignan" and "Fuerteventura." What the fuck is "Perpignan"?)

Oh, wait, shit, the whole standing room thing is probably just a publicity stunt. Figures. Everything cool is always fake.

ANYWAY, Happy Friday! Don't get rioted on! Have a nice weekend!


generic said...

IF it was a 45 minute puddlejumper to LA and IF they had bar service and IF it was 40, 50 bucks?

I might.

Tamagosan said...
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