Thursday, January 10, 2013

The Worst Draft List Ever is actually not that bad

Hey, someone on the Internet said this.

Huh. Now, let me preface this by saying I am not really a beer snob, so this might be lost on me. I think I used to sort of be a faux beer snob. I drank a lot of Sierra and looked down my nose at any mass-produced beer. Not any more. 2 Sierras and I'm full. Now I'm happy to throw down a few PBRs or Tecates or whatever. I don't really like Bud, but if there's a Bud can at the bottom of a cooler full of ice on a hot day, I wouldn't turn it down.

So let's take a look at the Worst Draft List Ever.  First of all, there are an astounding 29 beers on the WDLE.  I bet there are a lot of people in a lot of bars across This Great Land who would fucking KILL for 29 beers.  Now, of course, 29 beers is useless if there are 22 taps of Natural Light, 3 taps of Coors Light, and 4 taps of Bud Ice, but that's not what we have here.  Instead, there are a wide variety of perfectly reasonable beers represented on this list.

First of all, a pint of Guinness, poured correctly, is one of life's sublime pleasures.  The presence of Guinness alone is enough to automatically disqualify any list from WDLE status.

I happen to like Harp; a lot of people don't, but that's fine.  I'm always happy to see Harp, though.

Brooklyn Lager, I thought, was a very nice beer.  I wouldn't mind seeing Brooklyn Lager out here in SF. It got a 90 on, so it couldn't be THAT bad, right?

Nothing wrong with Bass Ale or Smithwick's.

I'm not crazy about Red Hook, so I'll give you a pass there.

Goose Island is apparently owned by megalocorp InBev, so I can understand the hate.  Not familiar with their products, though.

I've never had Shock Top but it's another one of those Big Brewing Co beers that you're supposed to hate.

I thought people liked Leffe?  I didn't personally care for it, but whatever.  Oh, it's brewed by InBev Belgium.  That must be why this guy hates it.

I had Harpoon IPA when I was in Boston and I didn't love it but at least it's not made by InBev.

I guess my point is, if beer snobs want to someday be as elitist and condescending as wine snobs, this is the way to do it.  Sure, this list isn't crammed full of weirdo shit that somebody made in their garage and has elderberry flowers and cardamom in it, but if you can't find a drinkable beer on this list, your tastes are maybe way too refined to be going out to bars.  Except for Toronado.  You'd fit right in there.

(For comparison's sake,check out the draft list at the alleged "#1 Sports Bar in America," The Fours, in Boston:  Bud, Bass, Guinness, Miller Lite, Sam Adams, Harpoon, Blue Moon, Sam Seasonal, and Cider Jack.  Makes the WDLE above look like a craft brewers convention.


idrumgood said...

Goose Island is (was) a local Chicago brewery that got bought out by anheuser busch a few years back. They still make some nice 'craft' brews, but they are definitely starting to slip.

Anonymous said...

Some people might say I'm a little bit of a beer snob. I don't want to drink Bud or Coors, but if those are my only options, so be it. I don't think that's the worst list of beers I've seen.

My friend Jennifer discovered a bar in Berkeley that was bragging on Facebook about its list of craft brews. Turns out some of its craft brews were Shock Top and Blue Moon. Wah wah.

Greg said...

where is this place? it can't be anywhere around here because they have Yuengling Lager, possibly one of the few lagers that are actually good. That alone should keep this off the WBLE thing.

Stoney said...

I was much more offended by the apostrophe in "Bottle's" and the quotation marks on "'Drafts'" than I was by the beer selection. Beer snobbery is so pre-9/11. It's all about bourbon snobbery in the twenty-teens.

TK said...

idrum - I remember seeing Goose Island on the list at a couple of snooty beer bars on the east Coast, so that must have been pre-InBev.

sonia - LOLz. That's like the Bar That Time Forgot or something.

Greg - I don't know where it was taken. The guy who posted it listshis location as "Manhattan/Brooklyn/Boston", so one of those 3 places?

GG said...

I still consider myself a beer snob even though I haven't had a drink in years, and IMHO, the problem with Leffe is that if you're into Belgians (which I was), which are strong, flavorful, and complex, Leffe compared to other Belgian beers is kind of like Bartles & James compared to a nice red wine. It's like the Bud Light of Belgian beers.

Also, I used to love Goose Island when I was in Chicago all the time, it's disappointing to hear they've slipped, right when they seem to have made their way to SF!

Andrea said...

Ever the grammar freak I didn't even pay attention to the list at first. My eyes went straight to the word "Bottle's." It's plural, not possessive. It should be Bottles.

Tamagosan said...

A list without Anchor makes me very nervous! But not as much as questionably-maintained tap lines, so if I'm traveling, I'll go for one with a lot of turnover. While I was on Guam, I drank either Miller Lite out of cans or microbrew from the only brewpub on island, so there's that. I guess I'm a snob when I can be and don't give a shit when I can't.

Bottle's is inexcusable and justifies finding another bar.

Civic Center said...

Bottle's is great. It's how Woody at Cheers would have spelled it.

And beer snobbery as an entire genre is seriously missing the point of beer.

subframe said...

Michael Strickland said...

And beer snobbery as an entire genre is seriously missing the point of beer.


Exactly this. This is why I find beer snobbery to be very very nearly worse than wine snobbery. I'd actually rather hang out either 1) at a wine bar or 2) at a park with a tecate than city beer store/Toronado/etc on a busy night...

generic said...

Strickland, subframe:


mmafan said...

Harp is an underrated beer. I'm no beer snob, geek or lover. I'm a beer drinker who enjoys it.

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