Friday, September 24, 2010

Today's Top 5: Fast Food Restaurants in San Francisco

Come on, Mr. and Ms. Sustainably Raised Arugula and Organically Butchered Heirloom Pig. You know that you have Secret and Dark Cravings just like the rest of us, and when that happens, you clandestinely sneak down to the McDonald's that's 2 neighborhoods over so no one sees you and you order the #3 and eat it there in the restaurant while reading the USA Today someone left behind and hoping no one sees you. I'm on to you. And you know what? THAT'S COOL. No one can live on Day Boat Sea Scallops or heirloom tomato consommé all the time. Sometimes you need a Double Double, stat. I won't tell if you don't.

5. Arby's, Lakeshore Plaza, 1581 Sloat

There is something about the way the spray cheese melts over the Beef 'n Cheddar that is just magical, a perfect balance of flavor and texture, cushioned in a pillowy onion roll. Plus, you have to love the fact that Lakeshore Plaza is one big Chain-a-thon, a rare sight indeed in San Francisco. They've got a Petco, a UPS Store, a Supercuts, a Big 5, a Radio Shack. It's like being somewhere else in the country! There's even a military recruitment center! What is this place! Anyway, Arby's is the bomb.

4. KFC/Taco Bell, Guerrero and Duboce

You guys, when I found out you could mix and match the KFC and Taco Bell items it felt like I had learned something really important. Like you can get a 1-piece breast meal AND a Taco Supreme. Plus, proximity to Zeitgeist! I mean, come on! I just wish SF had a Combination Pizza Hut and Taco Bell (WARNING: Do not click on link if you plan on having something else in your head for the rest of the day).

3. Jack in the Box, Geary and 10th

You know what's great about Jack? He never sticks. He's always coming up with some new shizz. Like, you may go "I love the Sourdough Jack, but what else you got?" and Jack's all "WHY DON'T YOU TRY A CHICKEN FAJITA PITA MOTHERFUCKER" and you're all "Holy shit, that is a good fucking idea." Not that you would ever do that, though, because the Sourdough Jack is fucking nuts. I've never been to the Union Square location but the one on Geary and 10th is righteous every once in a while. You can sit up front and watch all the dorks going in and out of Lamps Plus.

2. In-N-Out Burger, Fisherman's Wharf

I knew if I didn't put In-N-Out on here peeps would FREAK OUT and be all "WHY THE FUCK DIDN'T YOU PUT IN-N-OUT ON THERE" so calm down, here it is. I don't know, In-N-Out's OK, but not worth the mad hype it gets all the time. Plus, the last time I ate there (in Daly City, not at the Fish-Whar), the fries were totally underdone. Nevertheless, if you want a solid burger surrounded by smelly Germans and thugged-out kids from Modesto, this is your place.

1. McDonald's, Haight and Stanyan

Let's start out with 2 assumptions: (1) McDonald's is rock solid, and generally you can't go wrong there, and (2) the food at every McDonald's is about the same. So it really comes down to location. The McDonald's at Haight and Stanyan is awesome because it's close to Amoeba and it plays host to a constant revolving parade of serious freakshow humanity. You got your hippies, your crazies, your gutter punks, your retirees, your normals, your truck drivers, your speed freaks, your stoners who have to go to McDonald's because they're stoned, your tourists, and you. It's kind of the iconic San Francisco fast food restaurant. That's why it's Number 1.

RIP Wendy, who decamped from her last SF location on Market a few years ago. We miss you, Wendy.

Also, SF needs a Krystal, a Chick-Fil-A, and Bojangles. That would rule.


Allan said...

How about a Waffle House. Here's my favorite picture of Waffle House:

TK said...


LOLz @ that pic. Did you see this post?

Anonymous said...

You gotta do the "fries well done" from the In-N-Out secret menu. But I would love for Five Guys to invade SF. Maybe they can take over The Whiz on Van Ness.

Also, Denny's, but only the chicken fried steak OMG.

Caitlin said...

Last time I ate at In-N-Out (at Fisherman's Wharf), I felt totally disappointed, and I realized that I eat burgers rarely enough that I can afford to just spend more and get a really good burger every time.

I agree with your #1, even though I would never eat there.

Greg said...

good choices. That Arby's in that chain store fortress is probably one of the best ones ever. Clean, the food comes out...well let's just say it's the best Arby's ever. Their employees are so cheerful too.

one other McDonalds that surprised me was the one on.....Fillmore. No joke. The employees were polite, the owner works there, and they offered bacon as an option on EVERYTHING and it was clean! no crack addicts etc. I was floored.

toddx said...

Oh, that KFC/Taco Bell, how it torments me! How can Taco Bell be my guilty pleasure? It's so embarrassing. I'm so sorry NOPA.

fisherbelle said...

Greg, that McD's on Fillmore is crazy up and down. They pointed me to the drive thru after the dining room had closed, never mind that I was on foot. No one even looked at me funny when I sauntered up to the window. Another time it was dead and clean in the afternoon but filling up my soda I noticed the sign that said that alcoholic beverages were prohibited.

Jasmine said...

Come on, what about the Popeyes on Divis and Hayes and the one on 22nd. Nothing beats the 2-piece deal on Tuesdays for $.99 There are lines out the door.

Stoney said...

Dog walk at Fort Funston, followed by Arbys and maybe some goodies at Petco. Happy Sunday.

Unknown said...

When I moved to the Bay area in 1995, the Burger King on the Presidio was still open. It was HUGE, and it operated with MILITARY PRECISION. It was like the President of BK was always there.

When the Army left, service went downhill and it eventually closed. Poopy.