Friday, June 12, 2009

We take our show on the road and confuse the natives of the Turks and Caicos

You know what's more boring than listening to someone drone on and on about their vacation? NOTHING. So I'm going to keep this semi-mercifully short. Then on Monday we can get back to baseball and stupidity like normal.

As you may or may not know, after New York my child bride and I departed these friendly shores for the much odder and maybe not as friendly Turks and Caicos Islands. Now, the islands are undeniably beautiful, but customer service in the Caribbean is like sauerkraut or democracy - they've heard of it, but they're not quite sure how to do it.

So just by way of example, after 2 semi-long flights we arrive in T&C and after an odd van/cab ride in which the driver deputized one of the passengers to collect money from all the other passengers, then got mad when people didn't have exact change, then blasted reggae the whole way, making normal conversation impossible, we arrive at the resort and are "greeted" by two women at the front desk who are clearly pissed off to have to be greeting guests at 9:00 p.m. I gathered later from talking to other people that "Caribbean service" is sort of known for being maybe not up to North American standards but still, after coming from New York, where everybody was falling over themselves to be friendly and help out and everything, it was kind of a shock.

Once you get used to it, though, it's not so bad and some people are actually friendly and cheerful. We thought the bartender at the hotel bar hated us, too, until we realized that his knowledge of English was limited to "pina colada" and "make mine a double" and he wasn't an asshole, he just couldn't understand a word we were saying. So that explains the blank stare and the failure to engage in conversation.

I don't want to get into a whole sociological analysis here too, but there is a kinda weird dynamic created when every single employee everywhere you go is black and 99% of the customer base is white.

Now, yeah, I know, count on me to find the cloud in every silver lining, but if I couldn't bitch about it, it didn't happen, you know? In the end, ANYWAY, we had a really great time, which consisted of lying on the beach and then having some drinks and then going out to eat and then drinking some more and then going to bed.


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