Friday, June 19, 2009

Wah. I've got "social anxiety disorder" and can't play baseball with my friends. Wah.

ST. LOUIS (AP) — The Detroit Tigers altered their rotation and the middle of their lineup Thursday, placing left-hander Dontrelle Willis on the 15-day disabled list with an anxiety disorder and benching slumping slugger Magglio Ordonez indefinitely.

(Blah blah blah Dontrelle's problems are not just mechanical blah blah)

Willis went on the DL hours before an interleague game against the Cardinals, who activated Khalil Greene from the 15-day disabled list for social anxiety disorder. Greene was not in the lineup with the team planning to ease him back into competition.

Remember when ballplayers were rugged tough guys who'd play a doubleheader, then chase skirts and get into fights until 4 a.m.?

Now they're delicate posies who suffer from social anxiety disorder and have to stay in their rooms and paste stickers in their My Little Pony diaries lest they come into contact with another human being. Fuck.


Unknown said...

Shut up social anxiety disorder is REAL.

Thankfully there's an over-the-counter cure called alcohol. I myself should be back in the game in about 30 minutes.

Anonymous said...

I didn't have the ladyballs to comment on this earlier, so I stuck it in my own blog.


Trust me, I like to make jokes about this shiz, helps me cope...but it really is for real, even if the sufferer (a human being) happens to also be a big-time successful MLB player/celebrity. xx

Anthony Diclemen said...

Well hiding from people and avoiding social situations is very common. One should work towards curbing this haste. Some natural anxiety remedies to look into are St.John's Wort, SAMe, L-Theanine, and Tryptophan. There's also cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) and programs like Panic Away and The Linden Method, to name a few. Hope this helps!