Monday, July 7, 2014

Have you looked at the list of highest grossing films of all time lately? It's depressing.

Used to be when I was a kid the list of highest grossing films was pretty respectable.  You had your classics like Gone With the Wind and your new blockbusters like Jaws.  Both of those are pretty highly regarded today.  I'm sure there was some embarrassing shit on there, but have you looked at the list lately?  It's horrifying.  I was just looking this weekend for some reason and boy was it a surprise.

Here's the top 19 1/2 (#20, partially cut off, is Harry Potter and the Laundromat of Time or something, who even cares).  Of the Top 10 Highest Grossing Movies of All Time as of Today,

3 are based on comic books

7 are sequels, in some form or another (I'm counting Skyfall here)

1 is based on a fucking child's toy

1 is based on a historical event

1 has only been out a few months and has driven parents nationwide mad

Only 1 is an "original" film, in that it originated with its own script and isn't based on a Viewmaster slide, a Burger King food item, or a trading card.  That one original film is one of the worst movies ever made.

In an alternate universe, this list could just as easily contain two Garbage Pail Kids live-action films, a movie based on the adventures of a superhero who can control humidity, and a dramatic retelling of a balloon crash.  It's depressing but also reflective of a larger truth, which is that most people are fucking idiots.

Don't even go look at the Top 50.  It's pretty much the same.  Transformers movie, Harry Potter movie, Comic Book movie, Star Wars movie, Pirates of the Caribbean movie.  Ugh.

The Adjusted for Inflation list is somewhat better.

Ahhhhhh that's better.  There's our old pal GWTW, back in its semi-rightful place on top.  Meanwhile, The Sound of Music, The Ten Commandments, Doctor Zhivago, and Snow White are having a drink by the bar and trying to pretend Avatar isn't in the room.  E.T. and Jaws are fine.  Titanic is just going to be there.

(In case you're wondering, the greatest film of all time, Cannonball Run II, is at #2,377 with a total domestic gross of $28,078,073.)


Stoney said...

Is a movie really a sequel if it's an adaptation from a series of books?

Also, how the hell is Ten Commandments hanging in there? Do they do revivals of that in flyover country like they do Sound of Music here?

TK said...

I think all the Harry Potter movies after the first one are considered sequels, regardless of the fact they were adapted from books. But what do I know? I'm just a crank on the Internet.

I think Ten Commandments made all its money in its original release and then maybe a few re-releases? Remember, it was the Avatar of its time. I think pretty much everyone saw it in theaters. Also, no VHS or DVR or even much TV to compete with back then.

Anonymous said...

No universe could sustain two live-action Garbage Pail Kids movies.

Tamagosan said...

I would watch two live-action Garbage Pail Kids movies over most of these top 10. As uninspired as it may be, GWTW is my favorite movie of all time, which is the 1939 of being obsessed with Titanic I think.

I guess great movies I saw this year (Blue is the Warmest Color, Obvious Child) just aren't that popular...

Blogger said...

Anyone else wants a FREE BURGER KING GIFTCARD?