Wednesday, July 17, 2013

We Are the Marginalized

From the SF Examiner, 7/16/13, "Bike parking could get boost as San Francisco looks to increase two-wheeled trips":

Of the 2 million daily trips taken in The City — which includes all modes of transportation — 75,000 occur via bike. Yet The City only boasts 3,000 public-use sidewalk parking racks, planner Joshua Switzky said in a recent presentation about the proposed new rules.

The lack of bike parking discourages bike use, treats cyclists with less dignity and can even lead to bad behavior, he said.

"The extent to which we treat bike facilities as an afterthought in building design and require cyclists to find marginalized ways to store their bikes ... is often reflected back in the way cyclists view their status in society and act in marginal ways and just overall relegates cycling to a less dignified and reasonable form of transportation," Switzky said.

TUESDAY.  I biked to Macy's.  I asked at the front door if they had valet bike parking.  They didn't.  I found a piece of concrete on the ground and threw it through their window.  FUCK YOUR OPPRESSION, FASCISTS, I yelled, biking away.

THURSDAY. I had to lock my bike to a bike rack on the sidewalk outside Starbucks.  It made me feel marginalized.  So I found a piece of concrete and threw it through the Starbucks window.  I AM THE UNDERCLASS, I yelled, biking away.

SATURDAY.  I looked around for bike parking at the beach but I couldn't find any.  So I unclipped my bear spray from my utility belt and sprayed a beachgoer in the face.  As she cried and cried, I explained that I was acting in a marginal way and that she shouldn't take it personally.

SUNDAY.  At Group, Katie is crying. "I parked my bike on the street again.  Like an animal.  No, worse than an animal.  I bet if squirrels had bikes, they would have tiny little secure enclosed garages.  Inside tree trunks.  With a little mole attendant.  But we have to park our bikes on the street."

"What do you feel, Katie?" asked Dr. Bonnie.

"SHAME," said Katie.  "SHAME."


Stoney said...

Et tu, TK?

Stephen said...

If you really valued me, SF, you'd make one of these available:

Rachel said...

TK, you made me laugh at work, in front of people, shame on you.
But awesome!

Tamagosan said...

Of course you picked an issue dear to my heart, yet all I can do is imagine the "...tiny little secure enclosed garages. Inside tree trunks. With a little mole attendant." YES.

@Stephen: Sweet rack, but I bet you hear that all the time.

Remember, kids, when you do find those elusive bike valets, treat them very well. :-)

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