Friday, April 8, 2011

Things that infuriated me today

1. Tickets for TV on the Radio at The Independent went on sale at noon today. (Well, actually they went on sale a few days ago if you have an American Express card. I'm a normal person and don't have one so I had to wait until today.) At 12:00:01 I clicked "Purchase tickets" and it was ALREADY FUCKING SOLD OUT. FUCK YOU SCALPERS I HOPE YOU ALL DROWN IN A TUB OF HUMAN FECES AND VOMIT.

2. My ongoing War with United Airlines has now escalated, because today they told me I am NOT, in fact, getting the refund that they promised they would give me. I WILL NOT REST UNTIL UNITED AIRLINES IS BANKRUPTED AND THEIR CHAIRMAN IS FORCED TO HANDWASH EVERY URINAL AT CHICAGO-O'HARE. Anyway, now my credit card company is involved. This is not over, United Airlines. I shall see to it that you are destroyed, your offices razed to the ground, and the land where they were is sown with salt so nothing ever grows there again.

3. I'm not at the Giants' home opener. I am going Monday, though.

4. Not really THAT infuriating but my dog is undergoing dental treatment right now and I am embarrassed to say how much it is costing us for our dog to have a shiny white smile that will knock the ladeez out.

5. What, what, WHAT is it about the restaurant industry that makes EVERY GODDAM RESTAURANT think I want music to autoplay when I go to their fucking website? Is there just one web designer for the entire restaurant industry and he or she just fucking loves autoplaying shitty lounge music? Why don't, say, auto dealers or local news sites autoplay music instead of restaurants? Just fucking cut it out. You have GOT to believe us when we say: WE DO NOT WANT MUSIC TO AUTOPLAY WHEN WE COME TO YOUR WEBSITE.

There was something else but I forgot.

OK, I feel better now! Maybe writing a blog is therapeutic. I hope you have a good weekend! The Wife and The Chick Who's Visiting Us from Ireland are going to the Wiener Nationals tomorrow. What a world.


Anonymous said...

I tried to race my wiener dog, Homer, in one of those races once. It was pathetic. Usually he is super fast, but I guess he got stage fright. He sat there like a lump and then wandered into the crowd and begged for food.

Oh, and my husband David was able to get tickets for TV on the Radio. Maybe you should try to convince him that he doesn't want to take his boring-ass pregnant wife and take you instead.

TK said...

Did he have an AmEx? Is that how he did it?

I would never come between a man and a pregnant wife, boring-ass or not.

I didn't know anyone could enter the Wiener Nationals! Makes sense, though. Hard to picture a circuit of professional racing wiener dogs.

Anonymous said...

He doesn't have an AmEx. I think he just got lucky when the tickets went on sale.

As for the wiener dogs, there are people who travel all over the country and race their dogs. They probably inject them with performance-enhancing drugs, too.

madalynn said...

Thank you for pointing out the autoplay on restaurant websites thing. For so long I've loathed restaurant websites, not really knowing why, and I think that's the reason. As if I'm going to go to a restaurant's site, hear NO music, and go "NOT FOR ME THANK YOU". The one guy who makes all those sites must secretly hate restaurants.

Dan said...

I am a designer, sometimes of web sites. I was just having an excruciating debate with a client (not in the restaurant business... a residential developer... but still) who STRONGLY felt that their website 'should' have music playing to make the product seem more 'elegant'. Arrrgh. The frustrating thing is that the clients she speaks of are rich Russians with horrible taste, so she might actually be right. But anyway, I struggled to compose a factual, even-keeled rebuttal to this idea, and now wish that I could have just pointed them towards your post instead if you'd gotten your act together to voice your frustrations a few weeks earlier.

Tamagosan said...

2.: I was subjected to a great deal of the "There are a lot of changes coming with the new merger, and I think you'll like them" United/Continental video in the past week or so. Then I found out that my friend I was visiting was equally annoyed by the way the "like them" is pronounced by the CEO. It was the butt of jokes for several minutes. Not quite the same as urinal-washing, but everyone does their part...

Also, I just got Bank of America (the United Airlines of the finance world) to refund my international ATM fees, so there's that. Small victories...

4.: Did the vet people give you tips on how to prevent this? I feel I should start now because I am sure I do not want to pay any amount that you are embarrassed to share.

5.: It's the same for nightclubs, too. I am sure, as Dan indicates, that it is the business owner's insistence or misconception that is the root of the problem. Designers are actual people, remember.