Monday, April 4, 2011

Area resident gives nutshell review of one of our two local daily newspapers

I was out walking the dog yesterday afternoon (beautiful day, no? Until around 6:30 when it suddenly became very, very cold) when, to my surprise and dismay, the dog crapped for the second time. I only brought one poop bag because my dog is generally a reliable One Time Only shitter but this time he was all "Fuck it, it's nice out, I'm gonna drop another as long as we're out and about."

ANYWAY, I didn't have another bag or anything and it is totally uncool to leave dog shit on the sidewalk (or anywhere else, for that matter) so I was sort of looking around for something to pick it up with when a Fellow Dog Owner came strolling by with his dog.

"Excuse me," I said. "You wouldn't happen to have another poop bag on you, would you?"

He was happy to oblige. "Yeah, absolutely," he said, pulling out Said Bag and handing it to me. "She surprised me one time too many," he continued, nodding at his dog,"so I started taking extras. Before that, I'd get caught and have to look around for an Examiner."

"Monarch of the Dailies," indeed.


Stoney said...

I wonder if they know that whoever did their redesign also did LOLCATS.

Anonymous said...

I think that's exactly what The Examiner is for, and I say this as someone who used to work there.

Tamagosan said...

I actually prefer to use newspaper to tote the turds. Somehow the folding action makes it easier to scoop and I don't have to feel the warmth. I am the only person I've ever seen do this, so I'm probably doing something wrong. When we used to live in France, my dog and I would get accolades from old ladies with canes and moms with strollers, who claimed that I was also the only person in my town who picked up poop, and they knew because they rolled in it all the time. EW.

I tend to use the Chronicle to scoop because it's delivered to our house and always in plentiful supply. The Examiner sure ain't what it used to be (when I would be stoked to read about the day's news right after school; now I guess kids just look on their iPhones?) but I do think there's some decent local school sports coverage. But yeah, far cry. I'm just surprised printing presses still exist...