Friday, January 7, 2011

It's January! That's Deadpool time.

Along with celebrating the New Year and getting blackout drunk and making poor choices and whatever, another New Year's Eve tradition at Casa TK is the Annual Selecting Your Deadpool Picks for the New Year. We let it slack last year for some reason. I'm not sure why. ANYWAY, back on track this year! Let's see who we've got.

TK picked:

Zsa Zsa Gabor! Now, I should tell you that the way we score is 100 minus the person's age, so you get a lot more points for younger decedents, and if you pick someone OVER 100 years old, you actually lose points, which is as it should be. NEVERTHELESS, sometimes only one person in a given pool in a given year actually dies, so I'm feeling pretty comfortable picking one nonagenarian once in a while. BONUS: She appears to be in poor health!

Elizabeth Taylor. I tend to pick her regularly, but that old warhorse keeps coming back for more.

Tony Bennett. Hopefully he leaves the GRAND PRIZE in San Francisco.

Willie Mays. Sorry, Say Hey. Nothing personal, only business. I love you, man.

Jerry Stiller. I know, right?

The Wife picked:

Roger Ebert. That seems cold but I can see it.

Hal Holbrook. Solid choice, I think.

Queen Elizabeth. Charles in Charge!

Tara Reid. It's often good to pick an Obviously Troubled Younger Person. Some joker picks Lilo every year, but that bitch never dies. The problem is, you can never see it coming. Like Brittany Murphy? You can't sit here and tell me you'd pick Brittany Murphy. Heath Ledger? C'mon. Anyway, Tara's as good as any, I guess.

Liza Minelli. Bad pick. Liza Minelli actually died in 2002 and has been played by an animatronic robot ever since. Little known fact.

Guest #1, whom we shall refer to as Sigmund, picked as follows:

Michael Douglas. Canny! Doesn't he have some kind of cancer?

Dick Clark. Believe it or not, Dick Clark is still alive, even though he now vaguely resembles a male version of Madame.

Betty White. Struck down at the prime of her career. Tragic.

Margaret Thatcher. Again, I had to refer to Dead or Alive, but it appears the Iron Lady is going strong at 85.

Tracy Morgan. The oddball pick. Love it. Tracy Morgan is so intensely weird that he is just as likely to die in some kind of hot air ballooning/barbequing mishap as a drug overdose.

Guest #2, whom we shall refer to as Natasha, chose:

Hugh Hefner. This was everyone's first pick. Natasha just happened to win the draw and go first. It just seems like his year.

Muammar Qaddafi. Or Ghadafi or however we're spelling it these days. Interesting. Only 68 years old, but I guess you never know with tyrannical despots.

Kim Jong-Il. Wait a minute, Natasha. I sense a trend here.

Amy Winehouse. OK, so you're off of evil old men now. Good.

Dick Cheney. Whoops, never mind.

Finally, The Sister could only round up 3 picks, but they're pretty good:

Lindsay Lohan. Every year. Without fail.

John Cougar Mellencamp. 4 pack a day smoker? Really? I guess, oh yeah, life doesn't go on. OH SNAP.

Fidel Castro. Natasha, you missed one!

Who'd we miss? Any good ones?


Skance said...

Oh, I thought of so many good ones after I wasted picks on The Queen and Tara Reid. Some perennial faves who I forgot about this year for some reason are:
Donald Sutherland
Andy Rooney

I would have gone for Pete Doherty again, but I figure if he can kick the Horse and survive a breakup with Kate Moss it'll take a lot to kill him.

Also, Courtney Love has been on my list in the past, but that bitch and her sheer amount of crazy will fuel her forever.

Lastly, I would like to add, I'll feel personally responsible for their death if any of my picks actually do die this year. I'll have to toast to them on my big victory night out.

Unknown said...

Holy crap this made me laugh so hard this morning...thanks for brightening up my foggy Friday morning :)

Rocco said...

well, tracy morgan is going in for a kidney transplant, so....

Tamagosan said...

hahhahhahh charles in charge hahahahah

Cameron Ross said...

John McCain
Elton John
Kim Kardashian (she'll do it just for the publicity)
Leif Garrett (no surprise...have you seen Celebrity Rehab?)

Stoney said...

Was I disqualified?

TK said...

Stoney -

Shit, my bad. For the record, you have:

Bret Michaels
Natalie Portman
Jimmy Carter
David Crosby

Not bad at all!

Rocco said...

natalie portman? LOL
i'll add aretha franklin to mine.

Stoney said...

She's preggers. I mean having kids is not as risky as it used to be...but hey, 70 points. Plus I'm not sure she eats anything.

Dan said...

Bob Dylan. Only because it will depress me when he dies and everything depressing always happens to me.

Anonymous said...

Steve Jobs

Rick said...