Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Top 5 Things The Wife and I Say to Each Other While Watching Top Chef (Any Iteration)

1. "That guy is such a prick."

2. "Bourdain sure likes himself, doesn't he?"

3. "I would eat the shit out of that."

4. "That looks disgusting."

5. "Oh, Gail. Poor Gail."

So now we have "Top Chef All-Stars," which isn't really All-Stars because none of the actual winners of past seasons are on, just contestants who did well and didn't win. I guess "Top Chef All-Stars" sounds better than "Top Chef Runners-Up." Whatever, I'll watch it. Every season now I think "I've had it with Top Chef, I'm not watching this season," and as soon as I see the first Quickfire Challenge I'm hooked.

Plus, The Wife has a thing for Colicchio (who is known, colloquially, in our house as "Coleek").

(But in all seriousness, we ate at his place Craft in NYC and I shit you not, it was one of the best meals I've ever had. Don't even get me started on the little individual copper kettles of potato gratin.)

(Oh, that brings up the time that I missed my chance to introduce myself to Dave Matthews. He was eating at Craft at the same time we were and then we went outside at the same time and I was waiting for The Wife, who was inside going to the restroom or something and Dave Matthews was talking to his manager or lackey or whatever the guy was and asked him for a cigarette and the flunky didn't have one and I happened to have a whole pack and I was thinking "Man, I should offer Dave Matthews a cigarette" but I didn't and so he didn't get cancer and continues to inflict his "music" on dopey fratboys everywhere.)

Plus, since "Sons of Anarchy" ended I needed to pick up a new show anyway.


Anonymous said...

When I was single I did two things: watch TV and go on bad first dates.

After meeting David, I couldn't sit on my ass and watch TV all the time. He wants to talk and live life and shit. {Weird, right?)

So, I had to make some deep viewing cuts. Luckily for me, Top Chef was one of the shows that David got hooked on. It's one of the only shows that he requests we watch the night it actually airs.

In this runner-up season, I find myself still rooting for Tiffany from last season. I felt like she got robbed. I also really like Gail (poor Gail) and Richard.

I want the chefs from the first two seasons eliminated because I didn't watch those seasons.

And I agree with Bourdain about one thing, Spike is the craftiest son of bitch that has ever been on that show.

My apologies for the long comment.

TK said...

The second season was filmed in SF and was actually pretty good.

I don't know who I like yet, but that Hootie chick bugs the fuck out of me for some reason.

Not so crazy about Richard either.

Everyone knows I really just watch for Padma.

Anonymous said...

Sooooo sick of Richard. Dude--put down the canister of liquid nitrogen already. Mostly just watching for Jen, whom I adore.

I am sad to hear that Mrs. TK has a thing for Tom Colicchio. Uuuuuggggghhhhh. I seriously wish he would be replaced; I find him terribly douchey. Haven't eaten at Craft, but have eaten at 'Wichcraft here in SF and was thoroughly unimpressed. I mean, I know it's just grilled cheese and so how high could one's expectations be, but I at least expect for a restaurant to not fuck up a grilled cheese sandwich, so when they do, I'm kind of like, WTF?

I love Rick Bayless and wish he would guest judge more often. I don't watch every season (I have the opposite trajectory as you: I watch the first quick-fire and am like, "I don't want to watch this batch of losers.") So I haven't watched a full season since Kevin/Jen/the Voltaggios. Rooting for Jen. Was glad Elia was eliminated (side note: I thought she looked hella tore up).

Anyone remember how the first season was hosted by Bill Joel's (now ex) wife and how thoroughly HORRIBLE she was? I've listened to robotic automated instructions from Comcast's customer service line that had more personality.

Anonymous said...

I think Richard is kinda like a mad scientist. I'm always curious to see what he is going to do.

I do like Jen, too. ... and Dale ... Honestly, there are a lot of chefs on there I like. Maybe I should be holding out on favorites until after they make some cuts.

Skance said...

Mike Isabella and all his douchiness sort of won me over somehow (Stockholm syndrome), Casey is solid, Spike looks like he'd be a good time, I love Carla and her Big-bird eyes. Hooooootie-hoo. Dale and Dale also OK. Fabio =Top scallope. Love him secondly only to Coleek, but holy bad sport in first episode. Lighten up, dude. We all know Bourdain's going to say something jerky. Deal with it.

I hate-follow Jamie on twitter and really can't stand her. Angelo gives me shingles. Detest that guy with the fire of a thousand suns. Jen's mouth bugs. Blais is all skinny now and Stephen clearly is over his head.

Also, wasn't Season 1 in SF?

Skance said...

Oh, and:
SECOND only to.... WTF with secondly, self?

Also, NO APOLOGIES FOR THE LONG COMMENT! I have thoughts and feelings, damnit. Plus, I'm Irish. We're ramblers.

TK said...

Yeah, maybe it was season 1 in SF.

I LOVE the term "hate-follow," as in "I hate-follow her on Twitter" and will now start using that.

There are a couple of people I follow just because I find them so unbelievably annoying, but I don't think I follow anyone I actively hate.

Anonymous said...

Skance, I hear you on Jamie--god she is icky. Never liked Fabio--always made my skin crawl. Full of himself yet seems kinda dumb. Bad combination.

Never liked Spike either--and that goes double for that lackey of his from his season...can't remember the dude's name, but I remember him thinking he was going to own the health-conscious challenge, which of course meant that was the one that sent him home.

I think you are right about SF being the first season.

I love that you have hate-follows. If I follow anyone I hate at all, it's only for a day, and only for the pleasure of unfollowing them. Oh, real life, if only you afforded such pleasures as the unfollow. How great it would be to be in a work meeting or something and just escort the person you hate out of the room.

Tamagosan said...

Top Chef was the Official Show of my old office. Our comments were quite similar to yours actually, but with a lot more sympathy to the losers, which are always the nicest ones.

I feel like I remember in Season Two that they visited a produce market in La Lengua?

Brett said...

Very similar conversations to the one my wife and I have after each episode.

Next time you have the chance to go to Craft, see if they have the tasting menu. Craft here in Dallas does a 3 course tasting menu for $75 a person, and it was so much food and so so good I thought I might keel over in 1st world food death shame. Plus, the maitre'd called me the next day to make sure we enjoyed ourselves.

Also, please enjoy this picture of our local favorite, Casey Thompson. That is all.