Love the new rug

This makes me laugh every time. I'm not sure why. Maybe it's the look on the dog's face.

This too:

For a few weeks right after this appeared in The Onion, all Super Hot Irish Girlfriend had to say was "cat general," and I would crack up.

Happy Friday, everyone! It's a beautiful day and the weekend is coming and God knows the last thing I want to do is get involved in the urgent matter of whether there should be an American Apparel on Valencia Street. Seriously, it's good to see people involved and caring about their community, but hey, at least it's not a Hot Topic or a Fuddrucker's. In the universe of chain stores, American Apparel is probably on the low end of the offensiveness scale.

Have a good weekend! If I had a gun to my head, I'd say Steelers by 3 in a surprisingly low-scoring game.

Lutherans, Republicans, and wedding photographers

First, two political-y things. If you don't care for that kind of stuff, please feel free to skip ahead.

One - Yesterday a California Court of Appeal ruled that California Lutheran High School in San Bernardino had the right to expel lesbians. It seems that someone was snooping around on some students' Myspace pages and found out that two female students had expressed their love for one another. The principal of the school questioned them, they admitted they were in love, and they were expelled.

Now, I'm willing to accept the ruling, which basically says that the school is a private, religious enterprise and can kick anybody out who doesn't adhere to its religious principles. But I have to wonder - is this really what Christians are all about? Because that sucks. If Jesus taught school, and two of his female (or male) students said they loved each other, do Christians really think Jesus would have said, "Out! Get the fuck out of my school. You're expelled!" Because that's not the vibe I get from what I know about him.

So carry on, California Lutheran High School. Do whatever you want. But I can see what turns people off about religion sometimes.

Two - Former Republican National Committe Chairman Rich Bond:

“We need a great deal more tolerance for the other guy’s point of view,” Bond said. “Not everybody comes from the same constituency as a majority-white homogenous district in the South where all people care about is keeping their guns and taxes.”

I'm sure waves of outrage will now flow from these homogenous districts in the South "where all people care about is keeping their guns and taxes," right? Just like it did when Obama said essentially the same thing? Right?

Moving on. Last night we met with Chris, who's photographing our wedding, at Laszlo. As you might imagine from looking at his website, he's not really a wedding photographer and, in fact, that's exactly why we picked him to do it. "Here's the deal," I said. "We don't want any lineups of the bridal party. No intertwined hands with rings. No bride gazing meaningfully into middle distance." Chris got it immediately, and he's cool with that. So our wedding photos are going to look just like Debaser!

Better than the alternative.

Overheard at Crissy Field yesterday afternoon

Marina Girl: "So then he says 'You'll do that, but you won't have sex? That's much more than sex.' So I said 'Not to me, John! Not to me!' "

[Incidentally, Leland loves the beach. LOVES IT.]

Keep getting the peony? The piney?

Did you read the article on Gavin in this week's Newsweek? Here's my favorite part:

Newsom's time as mayor has prepared him for a dramatic fight. Earlier this month he escorted a NEWSWEEK reporter down Market Street, near city hall. Most everyone recognized him—and had something to say. Some were fawning. "I just have to ask you for a picture," said one woman, " 'cause you're the sexiest mayor I've ever seen." Newsom smiled for the camera and demurred: "It's all relative when you're talking about mayors." Others were less fawning. "F––– you, Gavin," a man shouted across a busy intersection. "Get out of my life." Everyone thought they could talk to the mayor as if they knew him, some too well. "Keep getting the p–––y, Gavin," shouted one admiring citizen.

LOLz! Hard to imagine someone shouting "Keep getting the pussy" at Mayor T. M. Franklin Cownie of Des Moines. Although, Christ, Franklin might be the biggest poonhound on the Mississippi, I don't know.

Anyway, the most interesting part of the article is basically about why in the fuck he would commit what seems now like political suicide by ordering the county to issue marriage licenses to gays and basically set off the huge gay marriage fight back in 2004. Before that, he was considered a rising star in the Democratic party and people were saying things like "Governor" and "unlimited potential" and maybe even President. Now the general consensus is he's kind of a joke the party has to keep hidden like Cousin Frank who comes to the reunion and gets shitfaced on Bud Ice and pukes in the trunk of someone's car.

So why would he do such a thing? I can think of three possibilities:

1. He misread the direction the state and the country was going and thought he would be at the vanguard of social change and that everybody would be all GAY MARRIAGE YAY.

2. He was trying to curry favor with the far left, for some reason.

3. He honestly believed it was the right thing to do.

Of these, #3 is obviously the hardest to accept because we've been conditioned to categorically reject the idea that politicians ever do what's right just because it's right. But who knows? Maybe he actually did do it because he believes in his heart it was the right thing to do. Reasons #1 and #2 don't make that much more sense, anyway.

We'll see what happens in the primary race for governor. I don't think he's got much of a shot against Jerry Brown, but God knows I've been wrong before.

Hope you had a good weekend. We're in the process of finalizing our wedding invitations. They're going to look like the cover of "Oh, Inverted World," except with a dark red background. Cool!

Just give me the money and no one gets hurt

I just hied myself on down to Ye Olde Bankrupte Banke to withdraw about $18,000 to fund the TK-Super Hot Irish Girlfriend Wedding Extravaganza that's coming up this summer. Apart from the fact of my mild surprise that YOBB actually had the 18K to give out, my request caused a mild-to-moderate tizzy in the branch.

The teller, who we'll call "Joan" for no particular reason, looked at my withdrawal slip and said, "Eighteen thousand dollars? Do you want that in cash?"

I was a little startled by that question and said no, that a check would be fine. I pictured myself carrying a paper bag full of bundles of twenties out of the bank. Would they drop a die pack in just out of force of habit?

Joan consulted with a nearby teller and opined that she wouldn't mind it being deposited into her account. I bet, Joan! I provided, upon request, a driver's license and major credit card. Calls were then placed to higher-ups.

Joan and Higher-Up consulted telephonically about how to handle this unforeseen circumstance. Information from my CDL was transmitted. Joan then asked the puzzling question of where I lived BEFORE the address on my license. That was like 10 years ago and I had to think hard. I finally came up with the street name and, after some reflection, the street number as well. I guess I got it right, because our little game of This Is Your Life continued.

Meanwhile, I have selected a blue lollipop from a bowl on the counter and have been busily sucking away at it. SHIG informs me that my entire mouth - teeth, tongue, lips - is now a rich blue color. Will this affect me getting the money?

Oh, here's Joan. "What state were you born in?" I only have to think about this one for a second, and I got it right, too!

Joan asks who to make the check out to, and jokes for the second time that she'd like it in her account. BACK OFF, JOAN. YOU'RE NOT GETTING THE MONEY. It goes into SHIG's name for deposit in her account, for various complicated financial reasons that I'm not at liberty to discuss. We walk across the street and immediately deposit it into her account. She looks gleeful.

I haven't heard from her in over an hour. Starting to get worried.

Have a good weekend!

Media I am absorbing right now

TV: Lost

Now entering the 5th season, this sci-fi/time travel/soap opera/mindfuck/excuse for Josh Holloway to walk around without a shirt on continues to confuse and entertain, along with annoying Super Hot Irish Girlfriend because every few minutes I ask her "Now what just happened? Who's that?" Plus, Evangeline Lilly!

Music: The Streets, Original Pirate Material

Just came back to this 2002 release and it still sounds great. Mike Skinner's genius idea was to rap about everyday life for a regular bloke in Britain. Forget Benzes and Cavalli furs; he's talking about getting fucked up on lager and getting into fights and not calling girls back too soon so you don't look desperate.

Important note for American listeners: "Geezers" means "guys" in British, not "old people." This album may be very confusing if you don't know that.

Book: Born Fighting: How the Scots-Irish Shaped America, by Sen. Jim Webb

Forget the English Cavalier artistocracy and the prim New England Puritans. The Scots-Irish were the mongrel pioneers who settled much of Appalachia and are the ancestors of most of what we consider the White Middle Class today. Jim Webb, a senator from Virginia, has a bit of an overblown style, but the history is fasciniating, especially if you're one of them, like I am.

Movie: 28 Days Later

Just saw this a couple of nights ago. Nice, creepy little quasi-zombie movie, except the zombies are really really fast and not exactly the undead. Oddly, screenplay by Alex Garland, who also wrote the hippie backpacker's ur-fable, The Beach.

Web: Evany's dispatches from Sundance

Typically hilarious.

Civic Center Plaza, Jan. 20

Good speech, but man, you gotta practice that oath of office ahead of time!

OK. Where my change at?