Monday, June 15, 2015

Meet the Assholes Who Forced Me to Un-Semi-Retire from Blogging

I was having lunch with someone the other day who mentioned that I don't seem to blog much anymore, which is true.  I told him that maybe I just don't get as worked up about stuff as I used to.  I mean, even Debra J. Saunders' incoherent sub-preschool-level columns barely raise my ire any more.  I thought maybe I'm just not that angry anymore.

Thankfully, these gigantic assholes arrived to shake me from my slumber.

Rich Californians balk at limits: ‘We’re not all equal when it comes to water’

RANCHO SANTA FE, CALIF. — Drought or no drought, Steve Yuhas resents the idea that it is somehow shameful to be a water hog. If you can pay for it, he argues, you should get your water.
People “should not be forced to live on property with brown lawns, golf on brown courses or apologize for wanting their gardens to be beautiful,” Yuhas fumed recently on social media. “We pay significant property taxes based on where we live,” he added in an interview. “And, no, we’re not all equal when it comes to water.”

Human-shaped garbage barge Steve Yuhas isn't even the worst of this crew who think that they're above the law because they have money.  I mean, it's hard to fault them for thinking that, since the whole fucking country seems bent on constantly reinforcing that idea.  Still, it's sort of breathtaking to hear them spout their entitlement-speak out loud and to a major newspaper.  At least the filthy rich used to have the common courtesy not to openly rub our faces in the yawning disparity between how they live and how we scrabble around the floor waiting for them to accidentally drop a crumb.

Let together lament the travails of Gay Butler:

“I think we’re being overly penalized, and we’re certainly being overly scrutinized by the world,” said Gay Butler, an interior designer out for a trail ride on her show horse, Bear. She said her water bill averages about $800 a month.
“It angers me because people aren’t looking at the overall picture,” Butler said. “What are we supposed to do, just have dirt around our house on four acres?”

Well, Gay, actually, yes.  It will come as no surprise to anyone that Steve Yuhas "hosts a conservative talk-radio show," because he is a shining example of the I-got-mine-so-fuck-you mentality typical amongst his ilk.  If there was unlimited water, Yuhas and Gay Butler and Bear could all hot tub together and hose each other down 24/7 for all I care but we don't.  There is a fixed amount of water available and these scabrous jackoffs think their lush green lawns are more important than your drinking water or your kale or whatever else you want to eat.  God I am sick of kale.  That's not the point.  The point is these people are awful.

One other factoid of note:
In a place where the median income is $189,000, where PGA legend Phil Mickelson once requested a separate water meter for his chipping greens, where financier Ralph Whitworth last month paid the Rolling Stones $2 million to play at a local bar, the fine, at $100, was less than intimidating.
Hold the fucking phone.  The Rolling Stones will play a private gig for only $2 million?  Mick Jagger is worth $300 million. What is he doing playing "Brown Sugar" for a bunch of rich dicks in Rancho Santa Fe?


GG said...

What I find baffling is how fiercely they're fighting over something that is so inconsequential. I can understand wanting to throw your dollars around to get special treatment in, say, a murder trial, or getting your kid into an elite college, or not having to go through airport security. But having... a lawn? Really? I bought my last house largely because I loved the HUGE front and back yards, covered with a green carpet of kentucky bluegrass, and surrounded by fruit trees, so I get how hard it would be to have to give that up (thankfully, I don't live there anymore). But it's FUCKING GRASS. Like, maybe not dying of thirst and being able to take showers is a pretty decent reason to replace it with some attractive succulents? Anyway, glad you were prompted to come back.

Anonymous said...

I would like to learn this invaluable life skill with which you are able to read Debra Saunders columns without your blood pressure skyrocketing. I've tried to tell myself that she's carved out a livelihood based upon totally disingenuous trolling, but I still want to throw things even when I merely glance over a few sentences on accident.

Civic Center said...

I happened to spend two nights in Rancho Santa Fe while working at a super secret corporate Board of Directors meeting at a private tennis club there in 1997. The rented house in which they housed the bodyguard/chauffeur, the A/V guy, and the PowerPoint person for the meeting was a huge U-shaped thing around a swimming pool, and what shocked all of us was the bathroom arrangement next to the master bedroom (I won the coin toss and slept in the super king). A marble bathroom next to the bedroom that stretched about 25 yards with every possible amenity was an Architectural Digest marvel in itself, but what took this into the realm of surreal conspicuous consumption was that there was an exact replica of this well-appointed Spa in the room next door. In other words, His & Hers Toilet Palaces.

My favorite detail was that this occurred right after the Heaven's Gate religious cult mass suicide of 39 people who were planning to leave this planet on the Hale-Bopp Comet ('s_Gate_(religious_group). ) They had rented a mansion in Rancho Santa Fe, where businesses are not allowed to operate, and only aspiring billionaires are allowed to live. There was a rich person's free monthly magazine at the resort that may have had the most hilarious commentaries ever on the disaster. "Why did they have to come to Rancho Santa Fe in the first place and bother us with their stupidity?" seemed to be the prevalent attitude, along with "The media just don't understand our ways. Why, a local TV crew even invaded the Coopers' annual Easter Egg Hunt on their lawn which they have been hosting for years just to pretend that we're uncaring and thoughtless." Sounds like the drought has brought on a similar reaction. "Fuck everyone else, we're not thoughtless and uncaring, we're Special..."

hez said...

Tis true... The Rolling Stones will even play to a bunch of Private Equity DBs at a private birthday party for the founder of the firm... that's like a double sell out!

TK said...

GG - Maybe a lush green lawn is a metaphor for a certain way of life, or maybe they're just jerks.

chestery - I'm pretty convinced DJS is just around for the pageviews. Nowadays I just mostly scan for mentions of the plastic bag ban, her white whale. It's hilarious.

Michael - That is some good Rancho dirt, thanks.

hez - I guess rich people like hanging out with other rich people. Figures.

A++++ coments everyone, good job.

Stoney said...

Mick didn't get that rich by turning down gigs!

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