Wednesday, December 18, 2013

Best/Worst TV of the Year

The Americans

It's hard to pin down exactly what made this little show about Soviet spies living as Americans in a DC suburb in the 80's one of the best things on TV this year, but I cannot fucking WAIT until it starts up again in February.  The performances - especially Keri Russell as your dream housewife/incredibly dangerous human weapon - were great, but maybe it's the fact that the two spies are at once within and without American culture? Haha, that is some grad school bullshit right there.  But you should watch it.  BEST

Here's the trailer from last season:

Bachelor Sean

This season was even more depressing and boring than most seasons, chiefly because Sean had the personality of a lobotomized chair, and the women weren't much better.  Since recapping the Bachelor/ette is now my personal Sisyphean task in life, I had to watch it, but there was something uniquely difficult about this season.  I wish I had died instead.  WORST

Bar Rescue

Since two of my main interests in life are bars and yelling at people, this show really hit the sweet spot for me.  Angry Jon Taffer, who claims to have rehabilitated 28,000 bars on 14 planets in the last 340 years, blazes into your failing bar and revamps it with a new aesthetic and drink recipes and a new name, usually something like "Boxes and Brews" or "The Road, A Postapocalyptic Bar" or something else equally nonsensical.  He's accompanied by noted mixologists who attempt to teach mouth-breathing 22-year-olds how to bruise mint for a keffir lime mojito when we know they would have trouble locating the open end of a beer mug.  It's totally entertaining.  BEST

Mad Men

I still love this show but last season was kind of a drag, you know?  I mean, it was still awesome and everything but I like TV shows where things happen on them.  C'mon, Don Draper, fucking do something.  BEST/WORST

Breaking Bad

We binge watched the whole series in like a month to get ready for the final 2 months of the show.  It was awesome.  BBREAM.  BEST

Downton Abbey

It's basically the English manor One Life to Live, but who didn't get hooked on watching those crazy Brits fuck around with each other?  I just want it to go on and on and on into the modern age so we can see Lady Mary's hippie granddaughter bring Black Sabbath around.  BEST

How I Met Your Mother

How Is This On TV, more like, amirite?  I don't know, I've never made it through a full episode.  The Wife loves it for some reason but every time I watch 3 minutes of it I'm like Donald Trump at the White House Correspodents Dinner. WORST

World Series

Too much Boston Red Sox.  Not enough Giants.  WORST


I know I've gone on about this show way too much.  WHY HAVEN'T YOU WATCHED IT YET.  Fuck.  BEST


SLK in SF said...

I don't have cable or satellite but I still enjoy your television commentary. BTW, have you noticed that ABC is plugging the new Bachelor, coming in "Juan-uary"?

TK said...

Thanks, SLK!

Ugh, yes, I have noticed the "Wahn-uary" ads. PAINFUL.

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