Monday, November 1, 2010

World Series Game 4: This kid looks like he might have a future in baseball

What were you doing when you were 21? I was trying to figure out how to work my remote, drinking a lot of Milwaukee's Best, and smoking pot out of a pipe I made from spare PVC fittings. God knows what I inhaled. That might explain a lot.

When Madison Bumgarner was 21, he was methodically mowing down the best hitting team in baseball in a World Series game. Jesus Christ. When I was 21, I'd be lucky if I could find the World Series on television. This kid is busy making Vladimir Guerrero look like the guy on your softball team who only gets to hit when Big Rick gets too drunk to go to the plate.

(Did you hear the huge cheers George Bush got when he threw out the first pitch before the game? Texas, man.)

As great as he was, Mad couldn't do the whole thing himself. I fucking hate the DH but tonight it turned out fine because in the 3rd inning Aubrey Huff launched one that went a fucking mile. That pitch was just fucking SMOKED, I shit you not. 2-run HR.

On to the 7th. Bumgarner is cruising. Edgar gets on and Torres hit a double to score him. 3-0. I'm on Beer 6.

Top of the 8th. Buster hits a high fly ball. Josh Hamilton runs around in the outfield and wishes he could still drink. I go "Oh, too bad" because it looks like it's going to be caught and then it just keeps going and going and going and then I have to jump up because it's a solo HR. SORRY I SAD "TOO BAD" ABOUT YOUR HOME RUN, BUSTER, IT FOOLED ME.

Bumgarner finishes the 8th. B-Weez has a 1-2-3 9th. Giants up 3-1 in the Series.

What did the Rangers fans have to say after the loss? Let's find out!

"They let a guy who pitched crappy all year long....made him look like he was a great pitcher."

What are you, some kind of fucking retard? Rhetorical question. No, I will not explain to you what "rhetorical" is. Look it up. Bumgarner was 7-6 with a 3.00 ERA this year. He's the Giants' fourth starter. Almost any team in the major leagues, yours included, would give their left fucking nut to have a second, third, or fourth starter like Bumgarner. I get that you don't know anything about baseball, but you really should keep your fucking mouth shut; you look like an asshole.

Oh no! He called us "gay"! Wow, imagine if your insult ability stopped progressing at 6th grade. You know what! You're a big stupidhead!!! And you smell like farts!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Also, tc-mavs, yes, we did indeed sell our souls to the devil. In exchange, we got to not live in Texas. Totally worth it.

ANYWAY, whatever. Tim Lincecum-Cliff Lee rematch tonight. Do tune in.


Josie said...

Love these tips! I might incorporate them into one of my blog posts when I visit TX!

Tamagosan said...

Nice vid link: Oh yeah, it's the umpires. And oh snap, that one guy drove 6 hours and they didn't even score a run. But he had a great time! I actually like him all of a sudden but that's the only nice thing I'll say about the Rangers today I promise.

Pre-game show is starting, I'm ready to win it. I'm just pissed I have to drive home from the brewpub or else it would be the Serious Scotch Segment of the Series. The bf's work is right by there, but it seems unwise to show up to sleep off my buzz.