Friday, April 3, 2015

What SF landmark will we lose next?

It seems like not a week goes by without some announcement that a treasured San Francisco institution is closing its doors forever.  Just yesterday, we found out we're losing Capp's Corner, a North Beach institution for like 50 years, and the Orbit Room, a mid-Market bar that I went to once in like 1993 and thought was just OK.  But still!

[BRIEF DIVERSION: It really sucks about Capp's, an old-school family-style Italian place with huge buckets of linguine and red wine in water glasses and shit like that.  Totally sad, but it actually wasn't as good as Gold Spike, which closed years ago.  Still miss you, Gold Spike.]

With all these changes, WHAT'S NEXT?  

Tadich Grill

Is it the oldest restaurant in San Francisco?  Maybe!  Known primarily for angry waiters and sand dabs, this crusty old place is just begging for a makeover.

WHAT'S REPLACING IT: Spūn, a minimalist Peruvian-Roman small plates macaroni and cheese fusion restaurant.


Undoubtedly one of the best bars in San Francisco, at least on weeknights.  No frills, just booze and cheese.  What a bar should be.

WHAT'S REPLACING IT: Bird & Another Bird, a craft cocktail bar specializing in Midori.


Another old-school eccentric institution with no-nonsense drinks and a opera-heavy jukebox.

WHAT'S REPLACING IT: Tosca, a fantastically overrated nouveau Italian joint with $42 chicken.   Oh shit, wait.

The Legion of Honor

A resplendent neoclassical museum in a gorgeous setting with a so-so collection of mostly European art.

WHAT'S REPLACING IT: It will be the new home of Yelp co-founder Jeremy Stoppelman.

Golden Gate Park Carousel

Since 1914, this carousel has entertained generations of kids who think going around in a circle for about two minutes is fun.

WHAT'S REPLACING IT: The Spinninizer, an interactive Xtreme Xperience that uses space-age technology to spin kids around at over 300 miles per hour with only a 20% chance of death!!!!!!!

The Transamerica Pyramid

An iconic part of the San Francisco skyline, this instantly recognizable tower is what many people think of first when they think of the city.



A regular winter feature of San Francisco for thousands of years, this airborne hydration method has appeared in such films as "Vertigo" and "Basic Instinct."

WHAT'S REPLACING IT: Searing, unending drought.  Almonds.

Mayor Ed Lee

A comically ineffectual figurehead installed to do the bidding of Evil Overlord Ron Conway, a Bond movie-type villain who somewhat-secretly controls everything.

WHAT'S REPLACING IT: Mayr, an app that brings government to your door, usually in less than 30 minutes.  TRY MAYR.


Greg said...

one of the best steaks I've ever had was at Gold Spike...we should total up the number of old places that we lost under Ed Lee

in my neighborhood they keep replacing businesses with bakeries and ice cream/froyo places. Soon they'll be calling the inner Sunset the fcking Bakery District.

TK said...

I like "Bakery District," Greg! It's like a more twee "Meatpacking District." Let's get a petition going.

Civic Center said...

I like "MAYR" the app. Couldn't be more absurd than what we've been given with Mr. Ed, lackey to evil Bond Villains and their comic-relief Willie Brown sidekicks.

Stephen said...

With the shuttering of The Bold Italic, this just seems very prescient.

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