Thursday, January 8, 2015

Let's make fun of some city flags!

Via Burrito Justice, I have learned that the North American Vexillogical Association, which is an organization devoted to flags and not to bothering people, as you might imagine, did a survey of city flags in 2004 and published the "winners."  (I'm not linking to the survey directly because when I clicked on it my computer's virus protection FREAKED OUT and so the NAVA may have some evil computer infiltrating motive I'm not aware of.  Anyway.)

Most of them are depressingly similar.  A couple of stars, some color swatches, maybe a banner, a dude on a horse or in a boat, let's call it a day.  Some are worth looking at, though.

#1 was Washington DC.

YAWN.  Whatever.  It's got some bars, it's got some stars, it's got one color, red.  It would make a passable airline logo.  Best city flag?  Not even

#2 was Chicago.  It's another bore, but at least it has some blue.  #3 was Denver.

Flag, or logo of the Mid-Mountain Mining and Materials Corp.? You decide.

St. Louis, at #5, I kinda like, because it looks like it was designed by a drunk:

WHOA DUDE.  STOP WIGGLING.  Gotta admit, it's got some flava.

Colorado Springs, at #19, is....interesting.

That is some straight-up Yellow King shit right there.  Or maybe they're going for an African mask-kinda vibe?

I like it!

#23 St. Petersburg FL features a logo from an Op shirt I had in the later 80s:

Anchorage (#29) is basically a beer company logo.

Birmingham (#39) straight-up looks like a lesser-known Communist country.  Maybe in Central America?

I bet you 90% of Birminghamians of whateverTF they are would flip their fucking lids if they knew this was their flag.

I like that Fort Worth (#67) isn't gonna keep anyone guessing.

Ugly and obvious, just like everything else in Texas!

Lincoln Nebraska (#88) would like you to know WE HAVE NO SHORTCOMING IN ANY DEPARTMENT!!!

And so forth.  Most of them are just boring, like I said.  Want to see a real shitshow, though?

Untington! Oh, shit, wait, is that thing an "H"?  Or what the fuck is that thing?  I guess it's an H.  Huntington will be geared for progress once it can figure out how to draw a fucking H.

Everyone knows that SF has the best flag.  It was #35.



Leslie K said...

Fort Worth looks like giant black underpants.

Stoney said...

I can see the meeting in Huntington, WV, circa 1995.

"We need to attract some of those those newfangled computer businesses."

"Let's make our flag a technology flag."

"Yes, the 'H' can look like a microchip."

"What does a microchip look like?"

Stephen said...

Look, if they just *give* you the H, you might spell "hillbilly" with it.

Mingalingadingdong said...

San Francisco should definitely be #1, but Cupertino, my hometown, is pretty great too. It's a gigantic UFO in front of a sun, I think.

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