Friday, July 29, 2011

Please meet these former Miss California contestants

For complicated and boring reasons, I recently had the occasion to come across the Miss California website which features all of last year's contestants and all I have to say is wow. I think my favorite thing about it is that it appears that the contestants have made a concerted effort to look like the area they're representing. You know how like on Miss Universe they're always wearing their colorful native garb? Same thing.

They're also from very very specific geographic areas! Like, this is Charlotte Giustiniani, from "North Brentwood." Not Brentwood, mind you, but NORTH Brentwood:

WHOA, BRITTANY HIGH FROM LARCHMONT VILLAGE,I just got arrested for looking at your picture. Did someone offer you candy or something to come down to their basement for your photo shoot?

I gotta be careful because you know these chicks are all Googling themselves 24/7 and I don't want them to find my blog and then go "Oh, what a fucking asshole," even though I'm totally used to that.

Just a couple more, though, cause this is totally fun.

Erika Robertson is from "Honey Bee Haven," which sounds like a syndicated children's TV show. She's got a real Black Swan thing going on:

OK, now you guess one. Where's Holly Doll from, you think?

Got your guess? Ready? She's Miss East Sacramento! I know, right?

I got one more, and she's my fave. Please meet Jael Lloyd, Miss Glendale:

The headband! The peace sign tattoo! We will get high and listen to Ariel Pink on vinyl and drink homemade sangria and just have a blast. Miss Glendale doesn't care. She's down for anything.

Have a nice weekend.


Montana Wildhack said...

I'm sorry but, are any of these women even remotely attractive? or is it just me who thinks they are dogs?

GG said...

I was just thinking the exact same thing -- I wouldn't say "dogs," more like "average." I have friends who are prettier. But they're also probably smarter, which I guess is why they're not competing in Miss California pageants.

Montana Wildhack said...

Definitely not representative of the beautiful women we have in San Francisco alone! (and i meant no offense to dogs, but you know what i mean.)

Unknown said...

My best friend from high school ran/auditioned/whatever for Miss California this year. If you perused the entire site, you undoubtedly saw her picture. It was weird.

Tamagosan said...

Clearly the Miss California contest would be much better with the rejected candidates and TK on the commentary. Is this thing televised? I feel me a drinking game coming on...