A couple of weeks ago I was notified about the following event:
I guess it's some promotional event for Jansport, the company that makes the ubiquitous cheap disposable backpacks that emo girls put buttons all over. Whatever, sounds like fun, right? I like the Dodos! (BTW, if you're not familiar, check them out, they're great.) And, as the accompanying email made clear, FREE BEER! And Treasure Island! I'm sold! Sign me up!
The way this worked was, you have to personally RSVP and then they send you a confirmation email. So Stoney and I sign up and we get out emails and we're all set.
We are advised that the doors open at 5:30. We arrive around 5:45 and there is a line at least several hundred people long. I can immediately see what the problem is: it appears there is one person checking the list and IDs and whatnot. Hey, no biggie, we can wait. The line seems to be moving.
Until we get close. When we are maybe 50 people from the entrance, the line stops. Now, this is an outdoor thing and so we can fully hear the bands and see all the Lucky Admittees strolling around with their free beers and so what the fuck. Finally, we hear through the grapevine that they have reached capacity and they're not letting anyone else in.
WHAT THE FUCK.
So you're telling me that I RSVP'd and you sent me back an email saying come on over and I got there 15 minutes after the doors opened and I can see with my own fucking eyes that it's not crowded inside and after waiting an hour I can't get in?
WELL FUCK YOU JANSPORT.
Hey, I understand that there is a limited capacity, but knowing that, why did you send out confirmation emails to people and lead them to believe they could get in? I can understand overbooking by maybe 50 or 60, but when we gave up and left, there were several hundred people still in line. NOT FUCKING COOL.
Now, Jansport, I'm not going to tell you how to run your promotional events, but here are some suggestions that might help out next time:
1. If you're going to have a whole rigamarole for RSVP'ing and sending out email confirmations, that should mean something. Like, if the capacity is 1,000, don't send out 2,000 confirmations. In this case, the confirmations meant exactly nothing. You might as well have just admitted the first 1,000 people to show up and dispensed with the fucking email confirmations.
2. If you decided that you've reached some arbitrary capacity and you're not letting anyone else is, hey how about an announcement? Why don't you have some dork with a bullhorn go "We have reached capacity and we're not letting anyone else in"? That would have saved some time.
3. Seriously, go fuck yourself.
So everyone, let's do what little we can do and NEVER PURCHASE ANOTHER JANSPORT PRODUCT AGAIN. Not like you were going to anyway, but don't.