Then we went to eat at the Rainforest Cafe, which is what would happen if the Jungle Cruise at Disneyland opened a restaurant. Lots of animatronic animals that go off every few minutes and a very loud soundtrack of Reggae for White People. You enter, of course, through the Gift Shop, where one might purchase such items as a "Bag of Rocks" for $6 I swear to God I am not making this up. I was hoping it would just be a random bag of gravel and sand but it's those polished rocks but still.
The actual restaurant is upstairs. The best way I can describe the odor is that it smells like a wet dog. I guess after years and years of dampness (and it is really humid or something in there) you just can't get the smell out of the carpet any more.
The food was not as bad as I thought, somewhere between airport and hotel banquet. It was expensive as fuck, though. Lunch was $64 after tip for 3 of us and we didn't even have booze, although RC is not shy about pushing fruity tropical drinks on you like you're on spring break.
But fuck it, the kid had a blast and it wasn't anywhere close to as bad as I imagined it would be. Plus our server, Oscar, was incredibly friendly and nice and he must get stiffed by Europeans all day and to stay that nice must really take it out of you so I tipped him like 25% and should have gone higher but by that point I was starting to feel dizzy and overwhelmed and that tiger kept yelling at me.
There's also a downstairs bar that wasn't in use when we went. On the way out there was a guy using a selfie stick (ugh) to take a picture of himself in the empty bar. Where are you in your life when you're using a phone on a stick to take a picture of yourself alone in an empty Rainforest Cafe bar. Are you shooting an ad for Despair?
Anyway, if I had an extra $100 burning a hole in my pocket and was at Fisherman's Wharf around lunchtime, I might go back. Not alone, though.