Monday, October 29, 2012

World Series Game 4: Is this real? Did that really just happen?

THIS JUST IN: Giants have NO CHANCE, none, to win World Series.

ELL OH FUCKING ELL.  By now, the smell of burnt couch outside your window has made it clear: The San Francisco Giants have won their second World Series in 2 years.  Basically any year that Buster Posey isn't injured, they win the World Series.  This will get tiring in about 3 or 4 years.

(This seems as good a time as any to remind everyone how I said on October 12 the Giants would win the World Series. WHERE'S MY CHECK, ESPN?)

OK.  On to the game:

* It's funny or something that the worst starter for the Giants in the Series was Matt Cain.  He didn't suck or anything, but in this Series, if you didn't pitch a shutout, you weren't very good.  Cain gave up, what, 2 home runs last night?  ANYWAY, he was fine.  YOU'RE FINE MATT CAIN.  I'm not trying to bitch or anything.  It's just that.....

* BARRY MOTHERFUCKING ZITO.  And then TIM LINCECUM.  And then JEREMY AFFELDT.  Here's how this shit went down.  Before the season started, they got together and said "Let's lie low this season and make everyone think we suck and then teams will get lulled into a false sense of security and then BLAMMO in the playoffs we will rock and shock America!  HAHAHAHAH  LET'S DO IT."

* Tim Lincecum.  I mean, come the fuck on.  The plan next year should be to start Mota or Lopez or someone, let him pitch about 2 innings, and then bring Tim in for the rest of the game because he is LETHAL as a reliever.  He just can't start!  We figured it out!


TA-DAAAAAAAAA!!!! Thanks, everyone!
Ryan Theriot scored the winning run in the 10th when he was driven in by the GUY WHO STOLE HIS JOB, Marco Scutaro.

* Wow, Phil Coke struck out the first 7 Giants he faced in the World Series?  WOW.  Really?  Also, doesn't he seem a little drunk in this video?  I guess he coulda hit the bottle between losing the game and being interviewed, but whoa, that was fast!

* Also, we need to briefly talk about Fox.  Fox is the Worst Thing That's Ever Happened in History.  On the field, there is an exciting Game 4 of the World Series.  Fox paid a large sum of money to broadcast this game.  So Fox spends an entire inning in an EXTREME CLOSEUP of Justin Verlander's face.  They are interviewing him at length WHILE THE GAME IS GOING ON.  Now, Justin Verlander at least plays baseball for one of the teams involved.  Another lengthy in-game interview was with the winner of some contest.  Fox should no longer be allowed to televise sporting events.  If Fox was televising the moon landing, they would have a lengthy interview with some dork pushing buttons at Mission Control while Neil Armstrong trots around the lunar surface.

So that's it.  Second World Series win in 3 years.  Everybody surprised.  Hell, I"M surprised.  Let's do it again next year.


Tamagosan said...

Pretty awesome, in every way. What a game, what a season. We have 20 people in our living room, the Radio Shark on KNBR synced up to the video feed on mute (take that, Fox!) and life was good. Then, life was a bit insane once we left the house and walked on Mission from Richland to the high teens, but yeah, so good, so good. Can't wait till Wednesday! This is all making up for being on Guam for 2010-- and how!

ourswimmer said...

Tim Lincecum should just follow Dennis Eckersley's lead: Move to relief and grow a big mustache.