Thursday, February 28, 2013

Annoying things Pope does post-retirement

Comes into office every Friday and goes out to lunch with a bunch of Cardinals that New Pope is working on an ASAP project with.  "You don't mind, do you? I just wanna catch up."  Cardinals come back 2 1/2 hours later, smell like wine.

Walks into New Pope's office.  "Hmmmm, I think it worked better with the printer over here.  But it's your office now, you set it up how you like."

Still gives out business cards that say "Pope" even though he's not really Pope any more.

Uses Papal Helicopter to go to Sardinia on weekend.  "Oh, shit, I'm sorry.  I totally thought you were out of town."

Confidentially tells friends he still has direct line to God. 

Accepts $150 and Chevy's gift card to do mall opening in Paramus, NJ.  "Was I not supposed to do that? I thought it would be cool with you.  The sign said 'Emeritus Pope Welcomes You to Hidden Hills Town Centre,' not 'Pope Welcomes You to Hidden Hills Town Centre'."

Wonders aloud if setting up a little church on the side, "Not even a big thing, just one branch" would violate non-compete clause.

2 comments:

Stephen said...

I hadn't thought about the schismatic possibilities: "Screw the new guy, I'm a Benedictine Catholic."

Tamagosan said...

I just read this to The Professor and he mentioned something from HuffPo about some neo-natal lambskin sandals. So I guess there's a shoe thing.