Friday, October 16, 2009

My dog might be a peeping tom

(To understand this story, you have to know that my neighbor and I share a backyard, and we're both on the ground floor. Her place is sort of behind ours, in the yard. Also, it helps to know that she's almost never there, because her husband's Canadian and she's in Vancouver most of the time. OK.)

So around 4:30 the dog starts growling and making that FUFF FUFF sound like he does when someone's encroaching on his territory, which could mean anything from "at the front door" to "walking down the block across the street."

Then the backyard lights go on, and they're super-bright, so now we're up for real. I figure our neighbor (who we'll call "Kathy," for no particular reason) has some friends coming in late or maybe she's coming in late. Since I'm totally nosy, I open the curtain a little and see her walk by and then come back with two cops.

The first things that pop into your mind unbidden, I think, are very revealing. So tell me what these reveal.

Thought #1: I didn't think her husband was here! Did they get in a domestic?

Thought #2: Is there anything in the backyard that I wouldn't want cops to see?

Thought #3: They're not going to come in our house, are they?

Then I hear her telling them about hearing someone in the backyard, and they're shining flashlights all over the yard, and now it's starting to dawn on me: MY DOG IS A PROWLER.

What happened was, The Wife let him out in the backyard about 15 minutes earlier because he needed to pee or whatever. So he was out there for a while and then he came back in. Now, like I said, Kathy's not around that much. So what I figure happened is that she heard him rooting around back there and, not realizing that it was our dog, thought it was a Psycho Serial Killer Stalker and proceeded to phone the 5-0 to save her own life.

The dog came in and was all "What? What?" We didn't even tell him.

Happy Friday, everyone!

(UPDATE - I've been emailing with Kathy and I was totally apologetic and yep, seems like the dog is what she heard.)

In other news, I totally wanted to go to the Litcrawl on Saturday since I went last year and had an awesome time. I especially wanted to go to the SF Appeal/SFist event at the Lab because I thought I'd finally get to meet Eve and Brock and a bunch of other cool people but I realized the other day that I'll be at Treasure Island instead. So I guess I'll remain a mystery wrapped inside an enigma wrapped inside a bourbon and ginger.

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