"Now that I can finally understand you, I am less impressed with what you have to say."
OH SNAP. Don’s diss on Whatshisface was awesome, and kind of emblematic of the whole show, which was about rejection. Over at Ster-Coop, you could sense something bad was coming, because Don’s Dad – oops, I mean Connie Hilton – was getting crazier and crazier by the scene. (Incidentally, remember him bitching about people leeching off him? Oh, Connie, you have no idea what's coming.) So they finally get to the pitch meeting and Connie’s all “OMG what about my Moon Hilton, bitch?” and Don’s all “WTF?” And Connie’s all “I said I wanted a Moon Hilton! With room service unicorns! MAKE IT SO.” and stormed out and that made Don so upset he had to go fuck his kid’s teacher. That’s a good argument for having kids, I guess.
And then, of course, we get Sal turning down yet another chance at nookie. Seriously, this guy turns down more chances to get laid than most of us will ever get in our lives. But this time he really fucked up bad because Lee Garner Jr. isn’t just any bellboy, he’s the head of Lucky Strikes or something and he wants Sal gone pronto. It’s either because Sal turned him down and he’s petty and wants revenge or because he doesn’t want Sal tellling anyone about his, uh, little secret. I don’t know, doesn’t make much difference. Anyway, looks like things might be looking up for Sal in the leg department because we next see him on a payphone calling from what looks like the set of “Rent.”
Then we have Henry Government, who thought he had a sure thing going here, and gets Bets all the way into the office with the door locked and at this point is probably already mentally moving on to the next MILF with a reservoir when Bets puts the hammer down. Fuck, lady, make up your goddam mind. I don’t mind getting hit with the cashbox as long as I get a lil sumpin. Anyway, is this affair boring or what? Yeah, whatever, write little mash notes and have fake receptions or whatever. Yawn. The dude in the back of the bar was more exciting than this shit.
And then, just so it’s not all rejection, Don finally got it made got it made got it made, he’s hot for teacher. Again, wouldn’t it have been more interesting if she held out? Pushed him out the door and said no? Fuck are all women really powerless before the Hamm?
Finally, just in case you didn’t notice, the Civil Rights Movement Is Coming. The bleeding from that foreshadowing-shaped hole in your head will subside soon. And do you think the show will address the Kennedy assassination? Hard to say.