Thursday, May 31, 2012

You're a San Francisco Giant. What does your walk-up music say about you?

From CSN Bay Area, we are gifted with this indispensible list of the Giants' walk-up music. When correspondent Periqueblend sent me this yesterday, I immediately tabled all other business to focus like a laser on this. It may be the most important thing I've seen in the past 3 weeks.

(Walk-up music, if you're not a baseball fan or something, is the music played in the stadium in the time that it takes the player to walk up to the plate - ergo, "walk-up music." For pitchers, it's usually the music that plays when they're warming up. But more than simply that, it is a window into the soul of the player, and should be regarded as such.)

THE RESPECTABLE

Barry Zito -- "Doo Rags" (Nas) - Barry may have his ups and downs as a pitcher, but this is a rock-solid pick. Nas is the Vida Blue of rappers.

Pablo Sandoval --
(1) "The Motto" (Drake) (2) "Wild Boy" (MGK) (3) "N**** In Paris" (Jay -Z & Kanye West) (4) "Dance" (Big Sean) - Jesus Christ, I don't have time to fish for links for 4 different fucking walkup songs, but if you don't like N's in Paris, there is something wrong with you. Plus, the video comes with an epilepsy warning! How fucking badass is that!

Ryan Theriot -- (1)"Push It" (Salt-N-Pepa) (2) "I Wanna Rock" (Luther Campbell) - Hahahaha, I love that Ryan Theriot has "Push It" as one of his walkup songs. There's something so goofy and Dance Party 1986 about that. This just makes me instinctively like Ryan Theriot. As for #2, I can't imagine a stadium in the country where you could play a Luther Campbell song and get away with it, but more power to you if you can slip "Pop that pussy let me see you doo doo brown" by the stadium general manager.

Emmannuel Burriss -- (1) "Up!" (Loverance) (2) "Untouchable" (Rick Ross) (3) "Faded" (Tyga) (4) "Function" - E-40 (start at 18 sec) - 4 songs! Jesus, Burriss. Points for Bay Area connections (LoveRance and E-40).

IT'S MOSTLY OR ALL IN SPANISH SO I DON'T KNOW

Hector Sanchez -- "Corazones" (Daddy Yankee) - I kinda like it. This is reggaeton, right?

Freddy Sanchez -- "Cuidad Au Au" (Cosculluela) - Just for the video alone, which seems to feature some kind of Cosculluela - Frat Boy gamble-off. Also the chorus is a little ear-wormy, go figure.

Sergio Romo -- "El Mechon" (Banda MS) - It's a little....frantic, isn't it? Much like Romo himself.

WHATEVER

Gregor Blanco -- "Welcome to Jamrock" (Damian Marley) - It's reggae. Who really cares one way or the other.

Melky Cabrera -- (1) "Crazy People" (Pitbull) (2) "Right Above It" (Lil Wayne) - That Pitbull song is pretty awful and the Lil Wayne song isn't much better but next time you get 50 hits in one month, you can bitch about it.

Brandon Crawford -- (1) "Lord Knows" (Drake) (2) "Writer's Block" (Royce Da 5'9) - Whatever.

Brett Pill -- "Im Broken" (Pantera) - I'm probably the wrong person to ask about this, since my knowledge of metal is utilitarian at best. It's fine, I guess, if you're into that kind of thing.

Clay Hensley -- "Wherever I May Roam" (Metallica) - Sure, great, whatever. I guess this would get you fired up while you're warming up.

Javier Lopez -- "Coastin'" (Zion I) - This is alright.

Tim Lincecum -- "Loud” (Mac Miller) - "I experiment with drugs but I won’t ever fuck with yay/I just made a million dollars still I think I’m underpaid."

Madison Bumgarner -- "Bad Company" (Five Finger Death Punch) - Yes, it's a cover of the Bad Company song by Bad Company. Plus a video featuring FFDP visiting The Troops, so you know they are Real Americans and they kick some fucking ass and whatnot.

JACKED-UP PICKUP TRUCK COUNTRY-ROCK

Matt Cain -- "Whistlin' Dixie" (Randy Houser) - This is this generation's Hank Williams Jr. You know, that Southern Bad Boy stuff. I have to admit, though, it's much better than Hank Williams Jr. Of course, drinking bleach is much better than Hank Williams Jr. Anyway, if you dip, hunt deer, know how to field-strip a .30-.30, and own some non-ironic trucker caps, you'll probably like this. Video featuring shotguns, children wearing camouflage clothing, lissome young woman in a trailer, and black people.

Buster Posey -- "Hell on Wheels"(Brantley Gilbert) - More of the same, but no real video. I'm surprised Buster has a song with a swear in the title!

THE OBJECTIONABLE

Angel Pagan -- "Blue" (Gemini) - Ugh, dubstep. Sounds like the Fist Pump song played backwards with Usher singing over it. Bad.

Ryan Vogelsong -- "Metalingus" (Alter Bridge) - Alter Bridge has a bunch of ex-Creed members in it. Enough said. And that title? WTF? Is that what happens when a Transformer goes down on you?

Jeremy Affeldt -- "Fireproof" (Pillar) - Oh boy, a Christian rock Linkin Park. Just what the world thought it needed. I like that on the CSN Bay Area site, they spelled it "Pilar," implying that it's a Spanish folk artist and not a bad nu-metal band. That would have been awesome, actually.

WHO KNOWS

Santiago Casilla -- "Mi Roca Y Mi Castillo" (Entre Mar Y Cordillera) - Couldn't find this online anywhere.

NICKELBACK

Nate Schierholtz -- "When We Stand Together"(Nickelback) - Oh, Nate. This appears to be Nickelback's attempt at a We Care About The World song, as opposed to their usual trite, boring, borderline misogynistic crap. Guess what? Nickelback still blows fucking chunks.

Nate Schierholtz, batting .247 at the plate and .000 in his walkup music.

13 comments:

thesoniashow said...

First of all, let me start with this: "Is that what happens when a Transformer goes down on you?" [stands up and claps] HA!

Second, I really like Nate, but his song choice makes me question everything about him now.

And finally, my husband used to say that the only good thing about Eli Whiteside was the fact that he had a Led Zeppelin song as his walk-up music.

Evita said...

The last time I was paying attention to walk up music was way back when David Bell had "For Whom the Bell Tolls" and it was the coolest ever

GG said...

The fact that they're allowed to have FOUR!! different songs just gave me another reason to hate baseball. This isn't "Sister Wives." They should be required to pick ONE song and stick with it even if they start to hate it.

periqueblend said...

I could talk about this list all day.

I love Posey's song, its a cliche wrapped in the stars and bars and served with a dixie reduction sauce.

I remember hearing Pagan's song at the yard and my first thought was about his off-season parties in PR with a lot of mollys.

Zito is a classy motherfucker.

I'm now in favor of Nate not getting any home at bats if it means no more Nickelback.

I love that Pablo (and Burriss) has a different song for each bat: Big Diva Style.

I hear El Mechon on tacqueria Jukeboxes and I always think of Romo now. It's like peanut butter and chocolate.

Tamagosan said...

Pagan's explains a lot. I am now imagining him humming this during his extra-intense facial expressions as he cruises to scoring position or gets a bad call...

And YES, what thesoniashow said about Eli!

Mingalingadingdong said...

This article made me a Theriot fan. On the other hand, I'm now totally disgusted by Affeldt and Schierholtz!

What would your walk-up song be?

And speaking of music, do you have an opinion on the demolition of the KFOG morning show?

TK said...

Sonia -

I think Eli walked up to "Kashmir," if I remember correctly, and yeah, that's pretty great.

Ming -

I have, for many years, maintained that my walk-up song would be "Me So Horny" by 2 Live Crew.

And I have no idea what the "demolition of the KFOG morning show" is. I only listen to KFOG if I feel like I need to hear some Bob Seger, which is rarely.

thesoniashow said...

After giving it a lot of thought I have decided that "White and Nerdy" by Weird Al would be my walk-up song.

Thanks for the thought-provoking post, TK!

Mingalingadingdong said...

Ah, 2 Live Crew. Nice choice!

I kinda consider you a mascot for all things SF, so I thought you might listen to KFOG. Long story short: they fired their morning show which had been on the air for like 20 years and replaced it with some former shock jock from Dallas or some other shitty place. People are pissed.

My walk-up song would be "Break Your Neck" by Busta Rhymes.

Tamagosan said...

And is anyone more intrigued by Melky Melky Melky after reading the Chron piece this morning? His mom lives with him! He seems like a not-annoying religious type! Yes, Pitbull. Hmm.

Petter Joe said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Petter Joe said...

Helpful article. Good for the people how need information about this. Thank you. Petter Joe

hazelmae89 said...

I love really the music choice for the San Francisco giants. One of my favorites is that the songs from my idol:Jennifer Lopez..For me that a stress-reliever.