THIS GOES OUT TO MY FELLOW TRAIL MIX HARDCORES.
When I found Planter's Nut & Chocolate trail mix, I really thought I was on one. Raisins, peanuts, can't-legally-call-them-M&Ms-but-c'mon-they're-M&Ms, cashews, almonds. All the good stuff. Living the dream, basically.
But you guys, I was living a lie. Because now I have found The Truth.
MOTHERFUCKING ARCHER FARMS MONSTER TRAIL MIX
You got your raisins and peanuts and faux M&Ms. Everyone got that. That's nothing new. But you know how Archer Farms is the baddest bitch in the game? For one thing, they put in chocolate chips, too, just so you won't forget about chocolate ever. But then they went and did one more.
FUCKING PEANUT BUTTER CHIPS.
That's right. Those crazy motherfuckers at Archer Farms were all "Trail mix is yesterday's news. What can we do to make it a sensation that will rock and shock trail mixers everywhere?" And one guy goes, "You know what? Peanut butter chips." And then there was a moment of silence in the lab and then everyone started cheering and crying because they knew that guy had just CHANGED THE RULES.
It's the peanut butter chips, I think, that make Archer Farms Monster THE trail mix of the 20-teens. (BTW, is that what we're calling the years 2011-2019? The 20-teens? I could do that.)
So shout out to my fellow Trail Mix Heads: If you're still fucking with that tired old trail mix and you need to shake it up, AFMTM is where it's at. Trail Mix Out.