Ugh, it's time again already. That idiot Emily is going to be a thorn in our sides for the next couple of months while she bores us to fucking tears trying to find a TV husband and New Daddy for little Ricki Jr. I guess all the jobs at Hooters were taken because she's what we get.
If you're new around here and don't know my complicated and Stockholm Syndrome-esque relationship with America's Sweethearts/The Functionally Retarded, you can read all about prior seasons here:
Ben Whatever His Name Is and the Lizard Queen
Then there was that chirpy dodo Ashley
Emily's already been picked once, by Lovable Lunkhead Brad
Before that was Ali who probably wishes she kept her job at Facespace
And before that was that Jake guy but I don't have a tag for him. Here's a sample.
Before that I was just a simple cobbler, eking out a meager living in this village.