Thursday, October 20, 2011

Deadpool UPDATE!

Looks like Gaddafi's dead! Wanna see a gross picture? Guess I got my Halloween costume!

Anyway, seems like a good time to update the Deadpool. Cast your thoughts back to January 7, 2011, when I first posted this year's Deadpool. Let's see how our contestants are doing.

TK had Zsa Zsa Gabor, Elizabeth Taylor, Tony Bennett, Willie Mays, and Jerry Stiller. I haven't checked on Zsa Zsa lately. Still alive? I think she's still alive. So all I got is Liz. I feel bad for picking Willie Mays, but this is strictly business, nothing personal, Say Hey. 21 points.

(To recap, to determine your points, subtract the person's age at death from 100. That way, you get fewer points for picking the Extremely Old/Close to Death. If you pick over 100, you lose points. That's on you. Blame the playa, not the game.)

The Wife had Roger Ebert, Hal Holbrook, Queen Elizabeth, Tara Reid, and Liza Minelli. I just checked and Hal's still alive, so no luck here. 86 years old and still doing the Mark Twain schtick! We should all be so lucky! 0 points.

The guest anonymously known as Sigmund had Michael Douglas, Dick Clark, Betty White, Margaret Thatcher, and Tracy Morgan. Unless you can die of getting laid too much, Michael Douglas is gonna be fine! HAR HAR HAR. 0 points.

The Sister had Lindsay Lohan, John Cougar Mellencamp, and Fidel Castro. She tried to sneak in later and add Aretha Franklin. I DON'T THINK SO BITCH. Anyway, lotta good it did her. She's still got an outside shot with Castro, I guess. 0 points.

Stoney selected Bret Michaels, Natalie Portman, Jimmy Carter, and David Crosby. I kind of like each one of these picks for different reasons, but I hate to inform Stoney that it's not 1736 and so the chances of Natalie dying in childbirth were slim. 0 points.

Finally, we have Natasha. Fucking Natasha picked: Hugh Hefner, Gaddafi, Kim Jong-Il, Amy Winehouse, and Dick Cheney. Winehouse, obviously, was a points bonanza, and Gaddafi wasn't exactly ancient either. Natasha is fucking walking away with this. DON'T LET NATASHA GET CLOSE TO YOU, FOR THE STENCH OF DEATH IS HEAVY ON THIS ONE. Also, WATCH THE FUCK OUT, KIM JONG-IL. I mean, if you're even still alive. 104 points!!!!!!

So, in other words, even if Zsa Zsa, Tony Bennett, Willie Mays, and Jerry Stiller all get ahold of some bad mussels at a charity auction in Lake Havasu, I STILL CAN'T FUCKING WIN. I need to remember to pick some young people next year.


Watch your back, pretty boy.


Skance said...

I'm really floored we've had three deaths already this year. We've had a coupple of barren years in the past, and three is unprecendented. Two deaths credited to the same person is dark magic indeed. Ebert just keeps on screwing me.

Tamagosan said...

Since I missed the WS game last night, this filled my need for sports this morning. Thanks!

Rocco said...

didn't i win one year? who did i have? do you have notes for this?

TK said...

Tam -

You "missed" it, like you intended to watch and didn't? I actually couldn't care less. Or is it COULD care less? I can never remember.

Rocco -

Yeah, I think you won with Barry White in 2003.

Stoney said...

Barry White was 2003?!?!? OMG, I'm fucking OLD.

Damn you and your healthy baby, Natalie Portman. Aleph? Like the Hebrew letter? Um, okay.

NikkiL said...

Looks like Natasha has a few more points headed her way...