Barack Obama will win re-election. His electoral vote total, I'm gonna say, um, 303 or 310. I don't even know if that's mathematically possible, I'm just feeling numbers here.
Fox and Friends host Steve Doocy will muse about whether this means Obama is Dictator for Life now and also where should we turn our Bibles in.
Chris Matthews will say something stupid.
CA ballot propositions:
Prop 30, the Bail Out the Legislature For Years of Fucking Up By Holding a Gun to Schoolchildren's Heads Act, will pass, by a very small margin.
Prop 31, the Fuck Up the Budget Every Two Years Instead of Every Year Act, will pass, I guess.
Prop 32, the Kill All Unions Act, will fail.
Prop 33, the Something About Auto Insurance Act, will pass.
Prop 34, the No Way Are People Going to Vote to End the Death Penalty Act, will fail.
A note about this one: I am aware that the last round of polling showed this one passing. I don't buy it. The death penalty has always had broad popular support because people like revenge. I just don't see enough people voting for this. Hey, hopefully I'm wrong, but we'll see.
Prop 35, the Something About Human Trafficking Act will pass because people don't like humans or traffic.
Prop 36, the Fix Three Strikes and Stop Putting People Away for Life for Stealing Pizza Act, will definitely pass because (a) it's totally reasonable (b) even District Attorneys are for it and (c) George Gascon's hair is in a commercial against it.
Prop 37, the Everybody Freak Out It's Genetically Modified Oh No Act, I think will pass? Not sure. OK, I have to pull the trigger so yes, it will pass.
Prop 38, the Rich Lady Who Wants to Take Down Jerry Brown With a Competing Tax Measure Act, will not pass.
Prop 39, the I Didn't Even Know There was a Prop 39 Act, will either pass or fail but nobody will know or care.
There are apparently some local SF ballot propositions too? I think? Wake me up if any of them involve recycling poaching. SPEAKING OF THE DEATH PENALTY.