Friday, June 8, 2012

Hey, just for fun, let's see what's going on in the Strictly Platonic section of Craigslist!

The best thing about Craigslist - well, besides the fact that it is the Economic Engine that powers the world and also that it almost put the Chronicle out of business - is the fact that it has so much shit to look at that you could never get bored looking at it. Craigslist verily contains multitudes.

Like the Strictly Platonic section! There's a section for people who want to be platonic! What do you think goes on in there?

Some people really are just looking for friends!

true friends - w4w - 30 (santa rosa)


Date: 2012-06-07, 5:38PM PDT
Reply to: XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

im looking to makes some friends with some drama free non bitchy girls that i can talk too about anything realtionships family just anything between 27-37 if you just wanna be a chat buddy thats fine with me

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Looking for someone who likes chat buddies but hates drama and punctuation? Here's your girl!

Unless you're 38.

Some people are looking for something else:

Do you noe molly - m4w - 23 (san jose east)


Date: 2012-06-06, 9:50PM PDT
Reply to: XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

We'll I have this friend very light skinned she that kinda friend you have around wen ur trying to have a good time she have u feeling ur self. Me my self Latin male husky build cute face fun and out going pic 4 pic

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HINT: "Molly" isn't really "light skinned." She's not really a person. Wink wink. Nudge nudge. And I'm not sure I want to give this guy any Molly if it will result in him "feeling ur self."

I'm not sure this next ad is completely "platonic." I mean, MAYYYYBE, but I kinda doubt that this guy really wants "a relationship marked by the absence of romance or sex":

Asian woman in panties - m4w - 47 (lafayette / orinda / moraga)


Date: 2012-06-04, 11:27AM PDT
Reply to: XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

I'm looking for an Asian woman, about my age, for panty play. I'd like to see you in your panties. I can give you a massage or anything else you may need. As for me, I need an Asian woman to wear cotton panties and be sweet to me.

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I mean, maybe this guy and an Asian woman will get together and she'll hang out in her panties and be sweet to him and that'll be about it. Maybe they'll play some backgammon and watch Season 2 of "Big Bang Theory" on DVD and whatnot. But I suspect Mr. Lafayette/Orinda/Moraga may be looking for a little more than that.

And then there are some that are just fucking weird:

LAS VEGAS TRIP WANNA JOINT - m4w - 29 (san jose downtown)


Date: 2012-06-06, 3:26PM PDT
Reply to: XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

HEY HOW R U ? I AM SINGLE GUY I LIKE TO GO LAS VEGAS I AM ALONE NOW U LIKE TO JOINT WITH ME I WILL TACK CARE OF YOUR FLIGHT AND ROOM AND SOME EXPENCIVE R U REAL PUT TITLE LASVEGAS THAN I WILL KNOW U R REAL I AM NON SMOKER SOCIAL DRINKER FUN AND HONEST GUY PLEASE SENT ME PIC AND CONTACT NO I DONT LIKE TOO MANY E MAILS THANKS HAVE A NICE DAY BYE

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OK, let's break this down. I think SINGLE GUY wants someone to "join" him on this trip. Contrary to the headline, I don't think he's offering anyone a "joint." He's alone. Alone even as he types this plaintive request. I think "I WILL TACK CARE OF YOUR FLIGHT AND ROOM" is pretty self-explanatory, if we assume that "TACK" means "take," but as far as what EXPENCIVE thing you will get, your guess is as good as mine.

Also, ladies, this FUN AND HONEST GUY does not like TOO MANY E MAILS, so make sure you're one of the first and not, say, the 53rd email he gets, because that is TOO MANY E MAILS.

Have a good weekend!

11 comments:

GG said...

I turn 38 this month! THANK GOD YOU POSTED THAT FIRST AD JUST IN TIME!!!

thesoniashow said...

I would like a trip to Vegas ...

Stephen said...

Strickly Platonick!1!

I AM single man want to discuss the FORMS and fine out the difference beatween the BEAUTIFUL and BEUATY it'self. Maybe we read PHaedoe and I massage your shoders. Maybe we consider the apologia and somke a J (if u kno whutI Mean ;)). Maybe invite my buddy so-crates. HE gives X-elent dialoggs. hitmeup!!!11!

Tamagosan said...

Oh yeah, this is totally what Plato was going for..

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TK said...

Well, I guess if I'm ever in the market for a voodoo doctor, I'll know where to go then!

I love the idea that somebody needs "golf voodoo."

susan said...

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susan said...

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Sandra Luis said...

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taylor nancy said...

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taylor nancy said...

my mouth is full of testimony is just like a dream but is real all thanks to papa Dr saulat.
I will continue to share this testimony sir till the whole world had of it. i am out here to spread this good news to the entire world on how I got my ex husband back.I was going crazy when my husband left me and my two kids for another woman last month, But i complained to my colleague in my place of work and she discuss with me her experience too and how she over come with the help of papa Dr saulat the great messenger God is using to help people, I narrated my problem to Dr saulat about how my Husband left me and my two kids and also how i needed to get a job in a very big company.He only said to me that i have come to the right place were i will be getting my heart desire without any side effect.He told me what i need to do,After it was been done,24 hours later,My Ex Husband called me on the phone and was saying sorry for living me and the kids before now and one week after my Husband called me to be pleading for forgiveness,I was called for interview in a very big company here in Washington DC were i needed to work as the managing director..I am so happy and overwhelmed that i have to tell this to the entire world to contact saulatspellhome@yahoo.com on his personal email address or website http://drsaulatindiaspell.webs.com/ and get all your problem solve..No problem is too big for him to solve