You're a San Francisco Giant. What does your walk-up music say about you?

From CSN Bay Area, we are gifted with this indispensible list of the Giants' walk-up music. When correspondent Periqueblend sent me this yesterday, I immediately tabled all other business to focus like a laser on this. It may be the most important thing I've seen in the past 3 weeks.

(Walk-up music, if you're not a baseball fan or something, is the music played in the stadium in the time that it takes the player to walk up to the plate - ergo, "walk-up music." For pitchers, it's usually the music that plays when they're warming up. But more than simply that, it is a window into the soul of the player, and should be regarded as such.)

THE RESPECTABLE

Barry Zito -- "Doo Rags" (Nas) - Barry may have his ups and downs as a pitcher, but this is a rock-solid pick. Nas is the Vida Blue of rappers.

Pablo Sandoval -- (1) "The Motto" (Drake) (2) "Wild Boy" (MGK) (3) "N**** In Paris" (Jay -Z & Kanye West) (4) "Dance" (Big Sean) - Jesus Christ, I don't have time to fish for links for 4 different fucking walkup songs, but if you don't like N's in Paris, there is something wrong with you. Plus, the video comes with an epilepsy warning! How fucking badass is that!

Ryan Theriot -- (1)"Push It" (Salt-N-Pepa) (2) "I Wanna Rock" (Luther Campbell) - Hahahaha, I love that Ryan Theriot has "Push It" as one of his walkup songs. There's something so goofy and Dance Party 1986 about that. This just makes me instinctively like Ryan Theriot. As for #2, I can't imagine a stadium in the country where you could play a Luther Campbell song and get away with it, but more power to you if you can slip "Pop that pussy let me see you doo doo brown" by the stadium general manager.

Emmannuel Burriss -- (1) "Up!" (Loverance) (2) "Untouchable" (Rick Ross) (3) "Faded" (Tyga) (4) "Function" - E-40 (start at 18 sec) - 4 songs! Jesus, Burriss. Points for Bay Area connections (LoveRance and E-40).

IT'S MOSTLY OR ALL IN SPANISH SO I DON'T KNOW

Hector Sanchez -- "Corazones" (Daddy Yankee) - I kinda like it. This is reggaeton, right?

Freddy Sanchez -- "Cuidad Au Au" (Cosculluela) - Just for the video alone, which seems to feature some kind of Cosculluela - Frat Boy gamble-off. Also the chorus is a little ear-wormy, go figure.

Sergio Romo -- "El Mechon" (Banda MS) - It's a little....frantic, isn't it? Much like Romo himself.

WHATEVER

Gregor Blanco -- "Welcome to Jamrock" (Damian Marley) - It's reggae. Who really cares one way or the other.

Melky Cabrera -- (1) "Crazy People" (Pitbull) (2) "Right Above It" (Lil Wayne) - That Pitbull song is pretty awful and the Lil Wayne song isn't much better but next time you get 50 hits in one month, you can bitch about it.

Brandon Crawford -- (1) "Lord Knows" (Drake) (2) "Writer's Block" (Royce Da 5'9) - Whatever.

Brett Pill -- "Im Broken" (Pantera) - I'm probably the wrong person to ask about this, since my knowledge of metal is utilitarian at best. It's fine, I guess, if you're into that kind of thing.

Clay Hensley -- "Wherever I May Roam" (Metallica) - Sure, great, whatever. I guess this would get you fired up while you're warming up.

Javier Lopez -- "Coastin'" (Zion I) - This is alright.

Tim Lincecum -- "Loud” (Mac Miller) - "I experiment with drugs but I won’t ever fuck with yay/I just made a million dollars still I think I’m underpaid."

Madison Bumgarner -- "Bad Company" (Five Finger Death Punch) - Yes, it's a cover of the Bad Company song by Bad Company. Plus a video featuring FFDP visiting The Troops, so you know they are Real Americans and they kick some fucking ass and whatnot.

JACKED-UP PICKUP TRUCK COUNTRY-ROCK

Matt Cain -- "Whistlin' Dixie" (Randy Houser) - This is this generation's Hank Williams Jr. You know, that Southern Bad Boy stuff. I have to admit, though, it's much better than Hank Williams Jr. Of course, drinking bleach is much better than Hank Williams Jr. Anyway, if you dip, hunt deer, know how to field-strip a .30-.30, and own some non-ironic trucker caps, you'll probably like this. Video featuring shotguns, children wearing camouflage clothing, lissome young woman in a trailer, and black people.

Buster Posey -- "Hell on Wheels"(Brantley Gilbert) - More of the same, but no real video. I'm surprised Buster has a song with a swear in the title!

THE OBJECTIONABLE

Angel Pagan -- "Blue" (Gemini) - Ugh, dubstep. Sounds like the Fist Pump song played backwards with Usher singing over it. Bad.

Ryan Vogelsong -- "Metalingus" (Alter Bridge) - Alter Bridge has a bunch of ex-Creed members in it. Enough said. And that title? WTF? Is that what happens when a Transformer goes down on you?

Jeremy Affeldt -- "Fireproof" (Pillar) - Oh boy, a Christian rock Linkin Park. Just what the world thought it needed. I like that on the CSN Bay Area site, they spelled it "Pilar," implying that it's a Spanish folk artist and not a bad nu-metal band. That would have been awesome, actually.

WHO KNOWS

Santiago Casilla -- "Mi Roca Y Mi Castillo" (Entre Mar Y Cordillera) - Couldn't find this online anywhere.

NICKELBACK

Nate Schierholtz -- "When We Stand Together"(Nickelback) - Oh, Nate. This appears to be Nickelback's attempt at a We Care About The World song, as opposed to their usual trite, boring, borderline misogynistic crap. Guess what? Nickelback still blows fucking chunks.

Nate Schierholtz, batting .247 at the plate and .000 in his walkup music.