Lily European Pedi-Mani Salon – San Mateo
One or Three Adult Deluxe Mani-Pedi Packages or One Kids' Deluxe Mani-Pedi Package
Yes, that's right. A KIDS' DELUXE MANI-PEDI PACKAGE. At first, I was all like "Maybe they mean teenagers." But no, the Fine Print says "Must be 15 or under for children's option."
I mean, it's bad enough these days with the overprotective helicopter parents and the kids being super-indulged and running around crazy in restaurants while the parents sigh and say "Isn't Colton adorable?" But this is fucked up. If you think your 8-year-old needs a mani-pedi, you are hereby sentenced to watch 10 episodes of "Toddlers and Tiaras" UNIRONICALLY. That means no laughing/no making fun of anyone on that show.
If your child needs nail work done, get some nail clippers from Walgreens and go to town. But if you strongly believe that your child would benefit from having its "feet soak in a bacteria-free crystal pedicure bowl filled with fragrant rose petals and orange slices" and then having someone "exfoliate feet and invigorate lower legs with a soothing massage before daubing epidermal canvases with a moisturizing mask and a coat of warm, skin-softening paraffin wax," you are part of the problem and not part of the solution. You probably don't vaccinate either and you're the reason we're all going to die of whooping cough and rubella. Thanks a lot.