I didn't know they still had Launch Parties! You know, when some kind of Internet-related company gets a lot of money and has nothing to spend it on so they rent out a big space and hire bartenders and invite their friends from college to show them how successful they are! There used to be a lot of them Back in the Day but then people figured out that if your business model was "get big enough to sell to Google" that really wasn't a revenue-generating idea and no one would give money to ShirtTail or MeFace or SporkYou any more.
But TA-DA!!! I guess it didn't go away, because right there last night was a Totally Authentic Launch Party. This company rented out a large building and had bartenders and free Evan Williams and Irony (the wine, not the literary technique - launch parties tend to be earnest and irony-free, sadly) and whatever else and a live karaoke band, the Amazing Embarrassonic and a trampoline.
I have a couple of observations:
- One of the first guys to sing with the live karaoke band did some kind of genius post-punk version of "99 Red Balloons." The intro started off all nice and quiet and then he gripped the mic and literally SHRIEKED "YOU AND I AND A LITTLE TOY SHOP BUY A BAG OF BALLOONS WITH THE MONEY WE'VE GOT SET THEM FREE AT THE BREAK OF DAWN TIL ONE BY ONE THEY WERE GONE." People were staring at him like WTF but I knew he was operating on a whole other level that we can't comprehend. It was fucking magical and I'm glad I was there to see it.
- Another note on the band: They have a list of like 500 songs, but I'll bet you anything that they play the same 50 at every gig. You got your "I Will Survive" and your "Mandy" and so forth that everybody does. I doubt they break out "Motor Away" by Guided by Voices that much and HOLY SHIT I DIDN'T SEE THEY KNEW A GUIDED BY VOICES SONG I TOTALLY WOULD HAVE DONE THAT.
- I met Daisy, which was pretty cool because I've only seen her on the Internet. I'm still not sure what she was doing there. I could barely hear her. I kind of fucked up because when we were done talking I hugged her and I think I remember now that she said she hates being hugged.
She's actually really nice in person. Sorry I'm ruining your cred, D.
- I'm still not 100% sure what the product being launched actually does. I am 100% sure that some girls wear skintight minidresses to launch parties.
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2 comments:
Rock on.
I don't understand "I'm still not sure what she was doing there."
You do remember the part where you wrote about the free open bar, right?
And yes, you did hug me. But it's okay. I'm working on not hating hugging as much. Although just typing that made me want to go into a padded room and rock back and forth for a while.
Also, thank you for not making fun of my ridiculous karaoke performance. I like you even more now.
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