Friday, June 17, 2016

Music Friday: Old people like festivals too

The Treasure Island Music festival lineup was announced this week (or, "dropped," I guess. The lineup "dropped" on Tuesday.) and it is EVEN MORE DISAPPOINTING THAN USUAL.

Sigur Ros, really?  I mean, even if you like Sigur Ros, they don't jump to mind when you think "festival headliners."  Maybe the Kill Yourself Festival, with Nine Inch Nails, Mark Eitzel and a hologram of Joy Division.  I remember seeing Spiritualized at TI one year - during the daytime, no less - and thinking about how incongruous it seemed.  Spiritualized should only be experienced in a dark and smoky club with ample whiskey, not on a beautiful sunny day from the top of a ferris wheel.  Sigur Ros should only be experienced in a teenage cutter's room with lizards in formaldehyde in jars and an unopened bottle of Wellbutrin.

I guess Ice Cube could be fun.

But honestly, there isn't another band on there I would pay money to see.  What the fuck happened, Treasure Island Music Festival?  There used to be some good lineups.  I mean, in 2008 (the aforementioned Spiritualized year) you had TV on the Radio, Vampire Weekend, Okkervil River, Fleet Foxes, Hot Chip.  That's a good lineup!  Now we get "Glass Animals," whatever the fuck that is. I know a lot of people like Car Seat Headrest, but it just doesn't do anything for me.

Don't tell me it's because I'm getting old.  I'M NOT OLD, YOU'RE OLD. I LEARNED IT FROM WATCHING YOU.

Speaking of festivals, I recently learned that there is such a thing as the Animal Collective Camping Weekend in Big Sur and that sounds like it might be like taking acid inside a mescaline factory.  Nothing I'd rather do than sleep on the ground with 333 Animal Collective fans talking to each other in Bjork lyrics and whatever else people who would camp out to watch Animal Collective do.

Then on the other end of the spectrum you've got Desert Trip, popularly known as "Oldchella," because FINALLY someone is catering to Baby Boomers.  Haven't they labored in resolute silence long enough?  The lineup includes the Stones, Bob Dylan, The Who, Neil Young, and other proto-Mesozoic acts.  I have no idea how whatever the remaining members of the Dead are calling themselves today escaped this bill.  Apparently the olds are going to camp out, just like the kids!

You better have an "on-site locksmith," because there is no way Peepaw goes 3 days without locking his keys in the Seville.

Finally, the #1 "viral track" in the land, according to Spotify, is "Fuck Steph Curry," a nuanced and incisive analysis of Stephen Curry's faults as a basketball player and citizen.  Not really, it's actually just a guy saying "Fuck Steph Curry" over a backing track.  There are some other lyrics too. It's not very nice.

Here's "You Can't Hide" by Maktub.  It sounds like drinking beer in the sun.  Have a great weekend!


Stephen said...

Apparently this is the last TI festival. That lineup is evidence of either (1) why they're done, or (2) the minimal effort you put in to something when you know it's done.

Michelle said...


LB said...

I went to Newport Folk Fest a few years ago. I know it's been around forever, but seriously, it's a great concert for olds and those who just hate millenials. Yes, obnoxious millenials are in the harbor on friends' dads' yachts, so sadly you can still see them but at least they aren't making flower crowns next to you.

TK said...

Stephen - Yeah, it has that "ah, fuck it, just book whoever you can get on the phone" feel to it. It was a good little festival when it started, but now it's just sick all the time and needs to be put down.

Michelle - ~thanks~

LB - Huh, I always thought of the Newport Folk Festival as having, like, Buffy St. Marie or whatever but it's a pretty good lineup this year! Elvis Costello, Ryan Adams, Father John Misty, Frightened Rabbit. Not bad at all.

KBN said...

Perfect ratio of words to guffaw on this one. Slow clap.

chestery said...

What REALLY makes me feel old is that you actually have an opinion on acts listed on the poster, other than Sigur Ros and Ice Cube, whereas I have zero opinion on them...because I have never heard of them.

That said, you're spot on about the oddness of having Sigur Ros (co)headline a festival. I remember, at one point, trying to use "Glosoli" (I refuse to look up the special characters) as study music.

And I have always been so preternaturally old that I: 1) use words like "preternatural" in normal conversation, and 2) found Ice Cube offensive when I was a teenager. That he is now one of least threatening black men on the planet and seems to specialize in really shitty PG-13 comedies has failed to endear me to him now that I am actually old.

GG said...

I like that Oldchella has 24-hour medical staffing. The olds are fragile!

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