The Treasure Island Music festival lineup was announced this week (or, "dropped," I guess. The lineup "dropped" on Tuesday.) and it is EVEN MORE DISAPPOINTING THAN USUAL.
Sigur Ros, really? I mean, even if you like Sigur Ros, they don't jump to mind when you think "festival headliners." Maybe the Kill Yourself Festival, with Nine Inch Nails, Mark Eitzel and a hologram of Joy Division. I remember seeing Spiritualized at TI one year - during the daytime, no less - and thinking about how incongruous it seemed. Spiritualized should only be experienced in a dark and smoky club with ample whiskey, not on a beautiful sunny day from the top of a ferris wheel. Sigur Ros should only be experienced in a teenage cutter's room with lizards in formaldehyde in jars and an unopened bottle of Wellbutrin.
I guess Ice Cube could be fun.
But honestly, there isn't another band on there I would pay money to see. What the fuck happened, Treasure Island Music Festival? There used to be some good lineups. I mean, in 2008 (the aforementioned Spiritualized year) you had TV on the Radio, Vampire Weekend, Okkervil River, Fleet Foxes, Hot Chip. That's a good lineup! Now we get "Glass Animals," whatever the fuck that is. I know a lot of people like Car Seat Headrest, but it just doesn't do anything for me.
Don't tell me it's because I'm getting old. I'M NOT OLD, YOU'RE OLD. I LEARNED IT FROM WATCHING YOU.
Speaking of festivals, I recently learned that there is such a thing as the Animal Collective Camping Weekend in Big Sur and that sounds like it might be like taking acid inside a mescaline factory. Nothing I'd rather do than sleep on the ground with 333 Animal Collective fans talking to each other in Bjork lyrics and whatever else people who would camp out to watch Animal Collective do.
Then on the other end of the spectrum you've got Desert Trip, popularly known as "Oldchella," because FINALLY someone is catering to Baby Boomers. Haven't they labored in resolute silence long enough? The lineup includes the Stones, Bob Dylan, The Who, Neil Young, and other proto-Mesozoic acts. I have no idea how whatever the remaining members of the Dead are calling themselves today escaped this bill. Apparently the olds are going to camp out, just like the kids!
You better have an "on-site locksmith," because there is no way Peepaw goes 3 days without locking his keys in the Seville.
Finally, the #1 "viral track" in the land, according to Spotify, is "Fuck Steph Curry," a nuanced and incisive analysis of Stephen Curry's faults as a basketball player and citizen. Not really, it's actually just a guy saying "Fuck Steph Curry" over a backing track. There are some other lyrics too. It's not very nice.
Here's "You Can't Hide" by Maktub. It sounds like drinking beer in the sun. Have a great weekend!