Hey, help me figure out if I'm way off here or what. I never can tell with these kind of things. I'm so sensitive that when the BART guy in the glass cube is a little rude to me when I ask him something I always go away like "Why does the BART guy hate me so much? What did I do?"
So today's problem in navigating our Strange and Complicated World has to do with emails and texting. I know these people - NOT YOU, OTHER PEOPLE - who are what we might call Bad Responders. That is, they're not so great at responding to emails and/or texts. So I'm not sure if they're just not living up to my extremely demanding standards or if they're just being rude and I have to get used to it.
Let's baseline this thing first. Here's my rule: if you email me, and the subject line isn't something like FWD: FWD: FWD: RE: RE: RE: RE: STATIC ELECTRICITY CAN KILL, I will most likely respond. So EXAMPLE let's say you send me an email that's something like "Hey, check out this video of a cat watching a video of another cat." Even if it's inane, which is totally is, and even if I've seen it before, which I assuredly have, I will still take 23 seconds and email you back and say 'That video is whack. You have to check out this video of an anteater watching a video of a marmoset, that shit is dope."
These people I'm talking about are at the other end of the spectrum. Unless your email or text is something like "HEY WERE YOU ABLE TO GET THAT KIDNEY DONATION FOR ME I'M SCHEDULED FOR SURGERY IN 1 HR", it's likely that they will not respond. NOT 100% OF THE TIME, just most of the time. Sometimes they surprise me and respond. Life is mysterious.
So let's run through some scenarios and you tell me if a response is warranted or not.
SCENARIO #1: I email you and attach an article that is highly relevant to your interests and say "hey, whilst perusing the Internet I came across this article that is highly relevant to your interests and thought I'd pass it along." MY RULE: I at least say "Hey, thanks." Is a response called for in this situation?
SCENARIO #2: I email you and say "You're not going to believe who I ran into this weekend. Our mutual friend Z. He asked after you and I told him you were busy preparing for your backpacking trip through Ecuador/playing Call of Duty/maintaining your heroin habit. He's doing well." MY RULE: Email response along the lines of "Huh, interesting, glad to hear Z has pulled himself together." Is a response called for in this situation?
SCENARIO #3: I email you and say "I'm heading out to the bake sale/beer party/poetry slam on Saturday, if you want to come along." MY RULE: This demands at least a "yay" or "nay." Is a response called for in this situation?
What do you think, Internet? Thanks for helping to calibrate my neurosis.