Monday, August 20, 2012

The Ballad of Melky Cabrera


Gather round children, and let me explain
How Melky Cabrera juiced up his game

He started a Yankee, and he did OK
But he wore out his welcome, and they gave him away

Down in Atlanta he wasn't great with the bat
And all that fried food started making him fat

Next was the Royals where he stopped for a year
He hit .305 there and relaunched his career

Royals will be Royals, though, no matter what
Giants got Melky and KC got a nut

In San Francisco Melk decided he would go wild
So he got on the juice and Marketing smiled

Melky, oh Melky, you've crushed all your fans
All that testosterone can't make you a man

When he was busted he honestly thought
Some fake fucking website would get him un-caught

We're all embarrassed, but the truly ashamed
Are those dudes dressed as Melk Men who came to each game

Melky, oh Melky, you've crushed all your fans
All that testosterone can't make you a man

4 comments:

Tamagosan said...

Yes. This is perfect. I guess you were waiting for the final weird twist to publish your Official Opinion, so now I can move on to wondering why we don't just have a lifetime MLB ban at first offence to show that we're not messing around. Sigh...

Michael Strickland said...

Love the Giants, but the Melkman fan shit was getting seriously awful. Thank you for your sweet rhyming eulogy, but I'm glad he's gone so just so we won't have to see the effing Melkshake ever again.

jazz vox said...

Well played.

jazz vox said...
This comment has been removed by the author.