Friday, November 18, 2011
Today's Worst Groupon of the Day
Wait, I think I can make out the text!
Dear Insert Child's Name,
It has been a cold and snowy winter here at the North Pole. Making presents for all the children is hard, but not as hard as parenting! Keeping up with you little shits while Dad and Mom are trying to put together some semblance of a living wage in this postmodern fuckhole we call an economy can be very taxing. So when they get home from a day of eating shit to placate their demented paranoid schizophrenic boss, they don't really have time to break out the old calligraphy tools and pen a faux letter from the God replacement we call "Santa." So they hired this company to do it instead! They know how much you love insert name of store-bought crap here and insert $5 check from Grandma here, so you'll be getting that. Now they're going to have a box of wine and glaze out to NCIS so please shut up.
Also, fuck paying $19.99 for this shit. 9 bucks sounds more their speed.
In other news, making the usual Thanksgiving trip to the Red States, so updates may be severely limited, etc. You'll be fine.