Monday, November 14, 2011

Let's talk about Walking Dead for a second

I need to talk about some Important TV right now. Walking Dead was on last night, so if you haven't seen it yet and care about it, you should probably stop reading because I may unintentionally mention things that happened last night and then you'd be all "HUH!!! SPOLIERS!!! YOU DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING!!!" and get all mad and we don't want that.

Walking Dead is a show set in a post-zombie-apocalyptic future. We have learned from this show that in the zombie future, people talk about their feelings a lot more than they do now. Like, here's the basic plotline of every episode:

CHARACTER 1: Feelings feelings feelings feelings.

CHARACTER 2: Boring boring blah blah blah.

ZOMBIE ATTACK

CHARACTER 1: That was awful. Feelings feelings feelings.

Despite all that, Walking Dead continues to upset and frighten me. You know that disclaimer at the beginning? When it says "Portions of this program may be too intense for some viewers"? Or something like that? Guess what. I'M SOME VIEWERS. Remember last week, or I think it was last week, when there was that white bloaty zombie trapped in the well and they lowered Glenn down by a rope to lure the zombie up (or something like, I'm not excatly sure what the thinking was with that) and the thing they had the rope anchored to broke and Glenn fell down towards the bloaty zombie and whatnot? FUCK. I thought I was gonna have a heart attack or die.

ANYWAY. So I really the like the show but I'm getting sick of how nothing ever happens. I mean, STOP SEARCHING FOR SOFIA ALREADY AND MOVE THE FUCK ON. Jesus, we've been looking for that girl since, what, episode 1? A 10-year-old girl couldn't make it alone for a week in fucking DISNEYLAND, much less a zombie-infested wilderness. Really, the problem with the show now is that it's static. All that happens now is lot of talking about feelings and then something happens when people are out looking for Sofia. Gotta movie it along now.

And also Darryl is the best thing about the show because he's the only character with any personality beyond a steely jaw and a firm resolve and long stares into middle distance. That's why last night was so scary what with the arrow through him and then that fucking chick almost killing him! Oh, I guess she doesn't get to use the gun any more, by the way. FUCK.

3 comments:

thesoniashow said...

I agree with you 100 percent about the show. It needs to move it along, and it needs to stop with all the God/faith talk.

sfmike said...

I saw "Night of the Living Dead" at an impressionable age (when it was actually new) and decided then and there that the Zombie Genre was simply too disturbing to watch, no matter how good or bad the actual movie/TV show. So forget "Dawn of the Dead," "The Evil Dead," and now "The Walking Dead."

Glad to hear I don't need to feel bad about not seeing the latter since it's static and boring besides being totally weird and frightening, with feelings feelings feelings stuffed into it like so much soap opera sausage. You've done a great consumer service. Thank you.

t said...

Daryl is my fantasy redneck boyfriend. the most recent episode was INTENSE.