Monday, September 19, 2011

Exploring the Giants' playoff chances

With 9 games left to play,the Giants are 5 games behind the NL West-leading Diamondbacks and 4 games behind the Braves in the Wild Card, tied with the Cardinals. Although it looks somewhat bleak - especially given how well the D-Backs have been playing, all hope is not lost. It is still possible for the club to qualify for the postseason tournament. Let's look at some possible ways.

1. Giants sweep D-backs in AZ, win 2 vs Colorado, beat LA once; meanwhile, D-backs lose once to Pirates and twice to LA.

Doesn't look extremely likely at this point. The D-backs have been playing pretty well and both the Pirates and Dodgers are crappy. Unlikely.

2. Giants win 5 of last 9 games; Braves get swept by Phillies, lose once to Nationals, once to Marlins.

Possible! Unless the Phillies are just phoning it in at this point and waiting around for the playoffs.

3. D-backs team plane crashes attempting difficult maneuver at air show. Giants become NL West leader and win division easily.

Hard to say without knowing a littler more about the D-backs team charter pilot. A reckless iconoclast with a score to settle, or a go-along-to-get-along corporate drone? Check the glint in his/her eye next time they're boarding.

4. D-backs ownership group replaces players with illegal immigrants to increase profits. Since enforcement of tough Arizona immigration law is currently barred by injunction, no one notices.

Lyle Overbay heard darkly muttering about how they're "stealing our jobs;" dismissed as a right-wing crank; goes on a shooting spree. Meanwhile, Immigrant Diamondbacks put up heroic effort by lose NL West by one game when someone in stands shouts "La Migra!" on last day of season.

5. Larry Ellison purchases Major League Baseball; awards NL West to Giants after renaming them the "Oracle Larry Ellisons;" misplaces Diamondbacks and can't find them.

"They were right here. I swear to God. Honey, have you seen the Arizona Diamondbacks? No, Diamondbacks. Yeah, like the snake. I coulda sworn I set them down in San Diego and now I can't find them anywhere. No, they're not on my head. Yes, I looked in the glove compartment."


periqueblend said...

There should be no doubt amongst the faithful that the dreaded Dodgers will be the final nail in our coffin.

TK said...

Clayton Kershaw, fuck. But at least it's refreshing to get beaten repeatedly by a legitimate Cy Young candidate and not some washed-up 36-year-old on his eighth team.

Tamagosan said...

Kershaw FUCK is right. I almost wept when I read The Chronic this morning.