Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Trip Report: Country Music Hall of Fame and Museum

I just got back from visiting my Dad in Tennessee for his birthday (Happy Birthday, Dad! Please stop working harder than me, you're making me look bad!) and I went to the Country Music Hall of Fame and Museum for the first time in my life and you know what? Old-time country music stars were gangsta as fuck.

Oh, before we get to that, here's the sign on the front door:

No, those aren't my sandals reflected in the front door. I don't wear fucking sandals. Those are my adidas Samoas, though. Anyway, NO WEAPONS. First museum I've ever been to where you had to be told not to bring weapons in. It sure as fuck doesn't say NO WEAPONS on the front door of the Louvre! TAKE THAT YOU PUSSY-ASS FRENCH MUSEUM!!!

Anyway, these country music guys used to booze harder and take more drugs and do more chicks than anyone else. They were basically the Motley Crue of their day.

Check out Gram Parsons' sweet Nudie suit with the marijuana leaf embroidery:

This next thing, though, blew my mind. Hank Williams shot some squirrels and then had them mounted by a taxidermist to look like they were playing in a little squirrel band and then displayed this gross little tableau in his house. My picture of it didn't turn out well, but I found this one online:

Welcome these fellas to your nightmares for the next few weeks. Anyway, Hank Williams took painkillers by the fistful and was a full-time drunk and still was one of the most most influential songwriters for both country and rock of all time.

And how about George Jones? Here, he tells it best:

Once, when I had been drunk for several days, Shirley decided she would make it physically impossible for me to buy liquor. I lived about eight miles from Beaumont and the nearest liquor store. She knew I wouldn't walk that far to get booze, so she hid the keys to every car we owned and left. But she forgot about the lawn mower. I can vaguely remember my anger at not being able to find keys to anything that moved and looking longingly out a window at a light that shone over our property. There, gleaming in the glow, was that ten-horsepower rotary engine under a seat. A key glistening in the ignition.

I imagine the top speed for that old mower was five miles per hour. It might have taken an hour and a half or more for me to get to the liquor store, but get there I did.
I fucking love George Jones. Here's some for you right now:


GG said...

"I don't wear fucking sandals."

Well done. I just recently had to explain to someone I'm dating while we were shopping that... um... yes those are nice sandals but you know it's not OK for a man to wear sandals, right?

He was not aware, but at least he accepted it as fact and did not try them on. Nevertheless, I am proceeding with caution.

Glad you had a nice trip.

TK said...

Mandals are so accepted now that we are fighting a lonely battle, GG.

Last night on the plane the chick next to me slipped off her shoes and sat cross-legged in the plane seat with her fucking foot almost touching my leg until I looked down at it and then looked at her in horror and then uncrossed her legs. Ugh.

Also, it's an airplane, not your comfy chair or yoga class. Jesus.

Anyway, good to be back.

Stoney said...

I had thought Mike Mills owned that Nudie suit, but I guess not. Pretty famous article of clothing. Those are pills on the sleeves, too.

Generik said...

Hank Williams rocks the fucking world. And so does George Jones.

Tamagosan said...

I'm hoping there's an exception to the no mandals rule for slippers (flip-flops) since that's all people wear on Guam... but I guess if everyone did it it would be like a mandals Critical Mass? And this reminds me that when I get back to the Bay, I'll have to wear socks. But NOT with sandals. The horror.

Also, the way I'm reading these rules and regulations, it appears you can drink at the Louvre in the daytime and not in summer?

TK said...

Stoney -

I didn't even notice the pills. That is both awesome and terrible, considering how Gram died.

Generik -

You know it.

Tam -

I've been trying to work out a Theory of Sandals that accounts for tropical islands. Work continues apace.

Jade Graham said...

I connected with people who also felt like they couldn't sing one more note,