Monday, July 11, 2011

New Bar Night: Dr. Teeth and the Electric Mayhem

I finally got an iPhone on Friday. I didn't get one for a long time because they were only on AT&T and I don't get any AT&T signal in my house. Came to find out that nobody gets any AT&T signal anywhere in San Francisco, so that turned out to be a good move. I got a G1 instead and went with T-Mobile. I liked the G1 pretty well. Having an actual keyboard was helpful but damn that thing was slow. So anyway my contract was up and what it really came down to is that I can carry one box around instead of 2 (i.e., phone and iPod). So I upped with Verizon and got the iPhone.

So far, I pretty much love it except there's a definite learning curve with the keyboard. Also, why is there no notification light? On the G1 (and every other phone in the world, I think), there's like a little green light that blinks on the front of the phone if you have a new text or email. How hard would it have been to put that on there? Seems ridic. But no, I'm just bitching. I pretty much love it.

OK, so Saturday I happened to be at the Phoenix to catch the end of the Giants game (Romo FTS! [That's "for the save," I just made that up]) and we were trying to decide where to go next and I was all "Let's go to that new place on Mission that was on Mission Mission and Uptown Almanac!!!!" and people usually let me get my way when I've been drinking so off we went.

It's called Dr. Teeth and the Electric Mayhem and they don't appear to have a website. In case you didn't know, that was the name of the Muppets band. (OF COURSE there's a Muppets wiki.) My initial reaction is that it's a retarded name for a bar. But whatever, what's inside?

Initial reaction is that it's pretty much just your basic bar. There's a cocktail list but it's not online and I didn't take a picture of it or anything. Not crazy about the beer selection so the chicks got some specialty cocktails and we got a couple of Bud tall cans. Bud is gross but I wanted something not so heavy and not Trumer.

I stole this picture from Grubstreet. Thanks, Grubstreet! They have a good slideshow of the whole place.

OK here's the background: this place was opened by the same people who own Tonic, on Russian Hill, apparently, and you might say that Tonic appeals to a different demographic than you typically find in the Mission (except for Blondie's, but that's another story). Now, of course I'm generalizing to some extent, and a full discussion of the Tribes of San Francisco is beyond the scope of this piece, but I think we can agree that there's a general "type" that's associated with the Mission and a general "type" that's associated with Russian Hill and they're not exactly the same type. Like there was a guy at the bar unironically wearing a peach Polo (and I mean an actual Polo, with the little Polo guy stitched on it) who smelled like cologne and had no visible tattoos. More power to this guy and all, but it was just a surprise is all I'm saying.

Then more stuff started to stand out. Like, there's a second bar in the back of the room that, don't get me wrong, is certainly convenient but it's just odd because you don't see that second bar thing much. Oh, and when I came back from the bathroom there was a chick at the table next to us climbing up onto her chair for reasons unknown and and I thought she was going to start table dancing but she didn't thank God.

ANYWAY this is probably more than you wanted to hear and it turned into like this fucking Sociology thesis and whatever it's a bar not a Social Experiment. It was crazy crowded by the time we left so keep that in mind. It's fine I guess. If you happened to be walking by on a Wednesday and wanted to stop in and get a drink there are worse places, I suppose, but I wouldn't make a point of coming here.

POSTSCRIPT: Over on Yelp (only 4 reviews as of this morning), reviewer Tom R. gives it two stars and says:

"Hipster irony is eating it's own tail"

and links to a Youtube video of the Muppet band.

Maybe I'm just dense, but I cannot figure out for the life of me what Tom R.'s point is. What does he mean, hipster irony eating its own tail? That's it's so ironic that it's not ironic any more? Because I don't think that has anything to do with this bar. Like the owners went "Wow, it would be so ironic to name this bar Dr. Teeth and the Electric Mayhem"? That doesn't make any sense. Oh well. Maybe Tom R. is just more savvy of a cultural critic than I am.


Jessica said...

San Francisco’s hottest bar is MAYHEM. Club promoter Gays Valley is back with a new venture that answers the question, “Huh?” This place has everything: patriotic beer cans, table dancing, mannequins, local bloggers making friendship bracelets out of the discarded strands from a crack whore’s acrylic hair extensions, four old people in the corner Statler and Waldorfing . . .

You know, it’s that thing of when you go to a Muppet-themed bar and amuse yourself by making fun of the kids in polo shirts?

Tamagosan said...

Although I am not a fan of refusing to go to bars based purely on their signage font choice*, I'm going to have to refuse this time. It's very rare that a place appeals to me in no way whatsoever. I'll peek in on my way to Shotwell's maybe, though...

*What am I talking about; I do that shit all the time. Wheat from the chaff!

amy.leblanc said...

@JESSICA: HA! i <3 stefon! makes me lose my shit every time.

also: "whatever it's a bar not a Social Experiment." that is where you are wrong, and i think going into a little depth about things such as What is Clean Polo Guy Doing At This Mission Bar is totally important to note.

amy.leblanc said...

+2 at Jessica: i own this t-shirt:

Bretasaurus said...

I just really don't see people in the Russian Hill bars (Tonic, and to a lesser extent, Bullitt) asking to speak to the manager to find out if he/she owns any other bars in the Mission area that the customer could make an easy transition into. It's a bar; customers are probably not staying management-brand-loyal. If Mayhem sucks, it sucks because of its own decisions on decor, music, alcohol selection, etc., not because of the affiliation on paper to another bar in Russian Hill. That polo shirt guy would've been drinking in a different bar in the Mission had he not decided to check out Mayhem. Hell, if Churchill had come out and said "we are going to be a gay bar," the heterosexual crowd would still show up to see what the new bar in the neighborhood looks like. Don't worry Missionites; if enough local people go there, you'll create some sort of crowd definition in no time.

That said, I've never been. Does it suck?