Monday, June 6, 2011

Your Free iTunes Downloads Reviews

You may or may not know that iTunes offers a couple or a few free downloads every day. In our continuing quest to deliver Quality Content™ and Value Added Something or Other™, we will periodically listen to these free downloads and tell you if there's anything good.

Sort of, maybe.

First up is a free video!

LMFAO, "Party Rock Anthem"

Oh God this is terrible. TERRIBLE. If your stated goal is to make a "Party Rock Anthem," why is it SO FUCKING BORING? Seriously, I've heard commercials with better hooks than this song.

I could give a shit about the post-apocalyptic zombie video or whatever.

Everybody involved in this should be ashamed of themselves. Or shot.

Herencia de Timbiqui, "Y Qué"

This is fine, I guess. I don't really know anything about this kind of music. Including what genre this even is. I guess I'm trying to say that this is so far outside my wheelhouse that I have no idea whether it's any good or not.

Royal Tailor, "Black & White"

This is apparently some kind of Christian pop-rock band. JESUS IS VERY MAD AT YOU FOR MAKING THIS SONG. It's like crappy Jamiroquai. Is that redundant?

(Also, maybe I'm not reading it closely enough, but I don't detect any religious content in these lyrics at all. It seems like a run-of-the-mill "I'm sorry I hurt you and I want you back" song. Maybe the Christian part is so cleverly camoflaged that only the Pure of Heart and Spirit can decipher it, and that's not me.)

Lowline, "Outside"

It's not terrible! Compared to the others, it's positively glowing! I mean, it's derivative as all hell (hello, Black Rebel Motorcycle Club!) but that's OK. I probably wouldn't seek it out but it didn't pain me to listen to it like that fucking LMFAO song.

THE VERDICT: Might as well download the Lowline song. I mean, it's free. The "Y Qué" song is fine, if you're into that kind of thing. Avoid the other two like the fucking plague. Again, and I cannot stress this enough, that LMFAO song is the aural equivalent of botulism.


GG said...

I guess you missed that the "I'm sorry I hurt you and I want you back" song is actually written in the voice of Pontius Pilate.

TK said...


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