(04-06) 22:16 PDT -- Jeremy Green, Stanford's leading scorer last basketball season, has been suspended from school for academic reasons, a school spokesman said Wednesday.Oh Jesus Christ. Thank God they only publish this wildly intrusive information for ATHLETES and not regular kids, or else you could have opened your morning paper to read:
Green's status for next season would not be affected, and the first-team All-Pac-10 selectee is expected to take part in the Cardinal's preseason trip to Spain in September, school spokesman Brian Risso said.
It's possible that the 6-foot-4 junior from Austin, Texas - who has exceptional shooting range - could apply for early entry in the June 23 NBA draft. An NBA spokesman would not say whether Green has applied. A list of the early-entry candidates would not be issued until the April 24 deadline has passed.
"My sense is that he will be back," coach Johnny Dawkins said.
Green could not be reached for comment. A phone message left at his parents' home in Texas was not immediately returned.
TK, the school's leading gravity bong user last season, has been suspended from school for academic reasons. And also for carrying an open beer into class. And also for driving his car into a ditch next to U Lot. And also for not paying the Activities Fee. And also for saying "I told you I don't do any fucking activities so why should I pay the Activities Fee." And also for maybe being the person who took Leslie's sliding door off its track and put it in her bathtub.
It's possible that the 6-foot-4 junior - who has exceptional sarcasm range - could apply for early entry into the Togo's immediately adjacent to campus. A Togo's spokesman would not say whether TK has applied. A list of the sandwiches Togo's offers was observed next to his phone, however.
"My sense is that we kinda hope he doesn't come back," the Dean of Academics said.
TK could not be reached for comments. "What the fuck - are you fucking kidding me?" a man who identified himself as TK's father said when reached at home. "Is this some kind of fucking joke? This better be some kind of sick joke. Is he there? Is he standing right there? You can tell him I have better things to do than to listen to this shit."