Anyway. Went to my first Giants game of the year last night. Got a couple of thoughts on that topic:
1. Fucking ENOUGH with the World Series We Are the Champions Yay Look at Us Let's Cheer for Us Again World Series World Series shit. I KNOW it's a big deal. I've been a Giants fan for 20 years. But really, you know that expression "Act like you've been there before?"[*] That's actually kind of spot-on. I mean, you don't see the Yankees - or even the fucking Marlins, for that matter - wearing caps and jerseys with fucking GOLD LETTERING on them when they present their WS rings in a FIVE-HOUR ONFIELD CEREMONY which includes Carlos from the Doggie Diner behind section 128 getting a ring and Duane Kuiper babbling incoherently and crying and Lou Seal borne aloft by a Choir of Angels while the organ player kicks in with Ave Maria, do you? No, you don't. OK. WE WON. NOW LET'S GET ON WITH THIS SEASON WHICH, IF YOU HAVEN'T NOTICED, ISN'T GOING SO SWIMMINGLY.
[*] In case you don't know, it means that when you achieve a goal, typically in an athletic event, such as scoring a touchdown or, in this case, winning a championship, there is a school of thought that teaches that one should affect a sort of blasé mien, as if to announce to the world "Achieving this means very little to me, because I often achieve my goals, so I will refrain from jumping around and behaving like a 5-year-old who just won a stuffed zebra at the county fair and instead will walk away with a studied calmness." This is highly regarded and shows that you are a Winner who is Used to Winning and not some yokel who accidentally pushed the right button and fell ass-backwards into a victory. This school of thought is summed up by the phrase "Act like you've been there before."
2. That being said, I like the fact that Lou Seal is wearing a big pimp-style WS ring.
You think Lou Seal doesn't get mad tail? (Photo courtesy of, inevitably, Lou Seal's Facebook page.)
3. Oh yeah, there was a game being played, the less said about the better. It was around the time that Pat Burrell charged the ball and it went past him like he was a bloated copier salesman at a company BBQ that I decided defense may be an issue for this team.
4. Also: for all the hue and cry about not beating up on Dodger fans in the wake of the horrible beatdown in LA last week, nothing really happened that I saw. Well, before the game, there was one guy wearing Dodgers gear and another guy walking behind him wearing Giants gear kept yelling, inexplicably, "The Botox section is back here! Go back to the Botox section!" I guess, because people in LA use Botox? Or something? If that's the best heckle we've got, we need to convene a Heckle Roundtable and brainstorm this shit.
5. Cold? FUCKING FREEZING.
6. Ended up a 6-1 loss. Bumgarner gave up, like, 20 consecutive hits in the 5th but finished the inning and then CAME TO BAT because you CANNOT SACRIFICE BUMGARNER'S BAT. Seriously, he's one of the best hitters on the team. I'm not joking.