Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Please forgive this brief foray into football

I don't usually write about football because I don't watch as much as I used to, having converted to baseball starting about 10 years ago when I first joined a Giants season ticket group. I leave football to Daisy. But this was just too hilarious.

[NOTE: The rest of this post will only make sense if you're an NFL fan in general and a 49ers fan in particular.]

From a Q&A with new Niners Head Coach/Franchise Jesus Jim Harbaugh, in today's 'Gate:

Q: What is your prototypical quarterback?

Harbaugh: "First of all, a competitive guy that's a winner, somebody that has great athletic instincts, somebody who is very accurate throwing the football, a quick-minded guy who can think fast on his feet and can make decisions quickly, someone who has leadership ability, an understanding of timing and can make really good decisions."

Q: Is potential free agent Alex Smith someone in the mix?

Harbaugh: "Yes, Alex Smith is definitely in it."

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Wait, does Harbaugh not know who Alex Smith is? The total fucking bust who everyone agrees has no future with the 49ers? The one who failed when given chance after chance after chance? He's "definitely in it"?

Let me translate for you, in case you're not a football fan. Here, I found this Q&A with the Director of the Museum of Modern Art:

Q: What do you look for when purchasing a work of fine art?

A: It must have a bold vision and something to say. It should be edgy and dangerous and challenge your perceptions of what art is, but must also have an inherent beauty that can't be quantified or explained. It must speak to the soul, as well as the eyes.

Q: Is art by Thomas Kinkade in the mix?

A: Yes, Thomas Kinkade is definitely in it.

I certainly hope this is some bullshit that's part of Harbaugh's master plan, because if he's serious, and you're a 49ers fan, be very fucking afraid.

2 comments:

Stephen said...

I read that as well, and really can't make heads or tails of it. What is the interest in keeping Smith's feelings from being hurt? Of course he's not "in it." He knows, we know, Harbaugh knows, and all of us but Smith are ecstatic about that. Why not tell your audience the truth - which has the benefit of being exactly what they *want* to hear?

Do they owe some sort of payout to Smith if they make him feel bad? "Paragraph 7(b), if, in the course of this contract, Team leads Player to doubt his self-worth, Team will pay to Player the sum of eight (8) million dollars."

john said...

Athletes, managers, GM's, coaches, etc...are not unlike politicians in that they do one of two things while being interviewed: they lie, or they reel off some hum drum list of cliches. As soon as the actual playing of the sport is over I'd advise turning off the T.V. unless you like cliches and being lied to. Back in the day it seems players, owners and coaches got involved in some really entertaining "media fights." At the very least they told it like it was. But those days are long gone; probably due to the "sophistication" of the sport; a result of the billions of dollars now vested into sports club. Seriously, I wouldn't read too much into anything an athlete or higher up has to say regarding a club.