Thursday, February 24, 2011

Moammar Gadhafi predicts the Oscars

BEST PICTURE

This…this “Black Swan,” it is too much. “Toy Story” make me cry. Make Moammar cry! I have it killed for that. You have seen “Winter’s Bone”? What is “Winter’s Bone”?

Moammar say “Social Network.” I COMMAND IT.

BEST ACTOR

Javier Bardem? JAVIER BARDEM? How DARE he challenge 1000-year reign of Moammar! MOAMMAR BEST ACTOR. All others pretenders. Plus, Jesse Eisenberg too young. Still seem like "Superbad" to Moammar. Academy like serious. Not like Jesse Eisenberg.

BEST ACTRESS

Annette Bening too showy for Moammar. Nicole Kidman? What Nicole Kidman do this year? BRING NATALIE PORTMAN TO MOAMMAR AT ONCE. What? She carry another man’s baby? Kill him.

COSTUME DESIGN

MOAMMAR.


DOCUMENTARY FEATURE

Moammar love Banksy. “Restrepo” good because it make Great Satan America look bad. But Banksy win.

ORIGINAL SONG

Moammar say “Country Strong” look stupid but Moammar like Gwyneth Paltrow to look stupid. Did Randy Newman write any song? Whatever song Randy Newman write wins.

FOREIGN LANGUAGE FILM

Ha! Moammar film “Greatest Glory to Moammar and Kingdom of Libya; Moammar Will Reign 1000 Years” will surely win. WHAT! MOAMMAR NOT NOMINATED! Death to all Foreign Language Film nominees! Death to Academy! Probably "Dogtooth" then.

ART DIRECTION

Who cares?

4 comments:

TK said...

Now that I read this over, Moammar sounds just like Drunk Hulk. Sorry.

kaliseviltwin said...

Why is it I read all that hearing Cookie Monster?

TK said...

Yeah, Hulk and Cookie Monster share the same syntactical quirks.

Tamagosan said...

I do believe you've just set the stage for a Drunk Hulk/Gadhafi Celebrity Smackdown! There's gotta be a GIF somewhere...

The Daily Show's referral to Gadhafi's "Christopher Walken translator" was pretty priceless, too. [I'm ignoring the fact that they meant "interpreter", but I'm just a bitter "translator"...]